Well folks, it’s been another week in a seemingly endless cycle of weeks. Like Sysiphus and his rock, you’ve done meaningless tasks that seem to…
DETROIT – Shock Rock pioneer Alice Cooper recently issued an apology for a lyric within the chorus of his 1972 single “School’s Out”’ which suggested…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Guitar manufacturer B.C. Rich was forced to issue an apology after debuting a totally normal-looking guitar that outraged their dedicated customers, confirmed…
TRENTON, N,J. — Music, the auditory art form which has been a part of humanity since antiquity, issued an apology for reportedly “saving the life”…
BOSTON — Local man Chet Deacon began the conversation on a first day with Alyssa Marco by apologizing for “the mess” of his entire being…
LAS VEGAS — Radio rock stalwarts The Killers apologized to fans yesterday morning after realizing that they missed an obvious, optimal rhyme in their legendary…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden dozed off “for a good thirty or forty seconds” at a lectern while delivering an apology for his recent sleeping…
HEAVEN — Local benevolent being, God, ended the life of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today as a formal apology for the whole “letting…
EUGENE, Ore. — Ska/swing revival band Cherry Poppin’ Daddies shared a long-awaited apology accepting blame for their whole deal, including, but not limited to, their…
CLEVELAND — Recently formed metal band Blood & Soil has forgone music as its first public release, instead issuing formal remarks apologizing for every band…
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Local Instagram personality and three-year-old Pomeranian JuJu shared today a sprawling, 600-word post in which she admitted to barking at African-Americans…
NEW YORK — Executives at Buzzfeed issued an apology today for their quiz, “Plan A Perfect Winter Day and We’ll Tell You If You’d Survive…
DENVER — Lead singers of two pop-punk bands issued a split release today, a collaborative letter apologizing for their mutual disgusting and predatory actions towards…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local boyfriend Adam Leben refused to admit to any wrongdoing for his alleged horrible behavior in his girlfriend’s dream last night, annoyed…
DAVIS, Calif. — Indie-funk-fusion band Bougie Juice broke their social media silence yesterday with an apologetic post after five weeks without a status update on…