Alcoholism Tag Archives - Page 5

Patrick Crooks • October 22, 2019

Well, this is just a fucking mess. Last night I went on what my ex refers to as one of…

Patrick Crooks • October 12, 2019

BAYONNE, N.J. — Rooney’s Tavern resident sad guy John Russo is reportedly nothing more than a lonely, pathetic alcoholic, despite…

Patrick Coyne • September 17, 2019

SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Local man and “Mr. Fucking Big Shot” Dan Paulson was allegedly acting last night “like his…

Kevin Tit • August 21, 2019

Friends are arguably just as, if not more, important than family. A bond thicker than blood. They’re there for us…

Jordan Breeding • August 20, 2019

HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans…

Steve Yuen • July 21, 2019

Some people are able to drink in moderation. I’ve been told, on many occasions, that I am certainly not one…

Patrick Coyne • July 12, 2019

BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed beer snob Jeremy Drika pretended last night to thoughtfully peruse the beer list at a local brewpub…

Parker Newman • June 30, 2019

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — An episode of the mental health podcast Forgetting Sarah Tonin went unrecorded this week due to technical…

Jordan Breeding • April 18, 2019

FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Obvious alcoholic and general mess of a human being Jerrold Long announced today that he will spend…

Dan Kozuh • January 20, 2019

C’mon, what are you, some kinda’ pussy?! Do this beer bong, bro! Don’t wuss out on me. I invite you…

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