EDMONDS, Wash. — Local punk Joe Solomon suggested his friend Donald Dell ditch his crippling Zyn addiction by switching to cigarettes, confirmed sources who were…
GREAT BEND, Kan. — Neil Stamp, guitarist for local shoegaze band Quavver, intends to work on playing the guitar as soon as he settles on…
I don’t know all of my legal rights as a patient, but what I do know is that for a guy with one star on…
Through my recovery at New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility, I was able to get an entirely new lease on life. The community there gave…
The mind is an incredible thing when used correctly, but it’s even more impressive when used incorrectly. Concerned coworkers and people who rely on a…
LOS ANGELES — The world-famous yellow AOL running man was reportedly found unconscious at the Chateau Marmont last night after an alleged drug overdose following…
“Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue” was arguably one of the most exciting crossover events of many Millennial childhoods, despite it being an unabashed D.A.R.E. promotion.…
It took me years to finally quit smoking. I’m really proud of myself. I’ve pretty much lost the desire to smoke altogether. Unless of course…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local delinquent Christine Pritchard surprised friends and family when she somehow obtained a prescription for cigarettes, according to impressed fellow small-time grifters.…
It seems my friends and family have gathered here to take part in some sort of intervention due to my so-called “clover-loving” behavior. But like…
I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about Ticketmaster and how they have a stronghold on the ticketing industry, but I’m going to tell you…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Local punk Buddy Freeman admitted that the pills he steals out of his grandmother’s medicine cabinet used to be for recreation, but…
If you are looking to quit smoking crack, be it for the first or three hundredth time, congratulations! Quitting smoking crack is a process millions…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers himself to be “a functioning…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…