MILWAUKEE — Members of local thrash metal band Differentiator recently committed to reduce environmental harm by wearing white high top shoes that are certified fair…
NEW YORK — Nominally cisgender/heterosexual individuals with amusingly low alcohol tolerances, colloquially known as “two-beer queers,” are advocating for their place within the greater LGBTQ+…
Punk lifestyles and animal rights activism have gone hand-in-hand for decades. When The Hard Times heard about a guy called Brent Crenge making “big waves”…
DENVER — Local man and vegan of two months Gabe Rumsey voiced his delight over the abundance of tasteless, processed plant-based options being unveiled at…
RUCKERSVILLE, Va. — Local man Camden Singh had his overall worldview and philosophy shattered then reformed no less than six times while using social media…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local activist and aging vegan Victor Gonzalez expressed his disappointment that the new generation of vegans have no interest in brutal videos…
SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation counts as a form of…
Did we just discover the next Greta Thunberg? This 32-year-old environmental conservation warrior is keeping his carbon footprint small by using the same Spider-Man beach…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sam Allister’s life built entirely on doing things out of spite for the extreme bitterness of this fucked world is actually…
HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid consultant for multinational oil and…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual on Tuesday night so she…
BALTIMORE — Local punk and wannabe anarchist Kevin Tomlin was upset to discover being an anarchist would require community involvement and not just make him…
CINCINNATI — Organizers of the National Spelling Bee expressed serious concerns this week after learning that the highly-regarded competition is in serious danger of running…
PEORIA, Ill. — Self-described wolf enthusiast Roy Greene immortalized his obsession with the animal since childhood in a hastily drawn tattoo on the upper portion…
CHICAGO — The embattled President of Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 7, John Cattanzara, sought to negotiate for police officers to receive 45 more murders…