Yes, America has modern day concentration camps that hold migrant children in cages of their own filth. But we also understand that a new season…
EL PASO, Texas — Local PETA activist Trygil Hellfist passed away today after forbidding his party members from using a Phoenix Down to revive him.…
I am so sick of hearing people complain about this administration and their idealistic, unrealistic expectations of assassinating Donald Trump. Does anyone really believe that…
CHARLEROI, Pa. — Self-proclaimed digital activist Rich Costen is “totally and happily” unaware that not one of his Facebook friends follows his account on the…
I‘m sick of keyboard warriors talking about how bad ISIS is but doing absolutely nothing to fix it. “Blah blah, decapitated journalists, boo hoo ethnic…
Widespread oppression and under-representation of minority groups is an issue that plagues our society as a whole. This issue has gone on long enough and I…
Ugh. My calculus professor refuses to stop lecturing me. Whether it’s in class, lab, or even a variety of private office hours — this guy…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — “Woke dude” Pete McNamara lulled a once-thriving party into collective slumber after vocalizing his socially progressive opinions, according to extremely disinterested listeners.…
FORT WORTH, Texas – A local anarchist stole and destroyed several pounds of gluten at an industrial bakery yesterday in a misguided, good-faith effort to…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 24-year-old Jonathan Warner chained himself to his Macbook Pro earlier this week to protest “everything that’s going on in the world,”…
DETROIT – Joining other high-profile donors like Jimmy Fallon, Pearl Jam, and Cher, Detroit-based hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse announced today they will donate 10,000…
UNITED STATES – The hacktivist group known as Anonymous released a list containing the names, addresses, contact information, Spotify playlists, and parental income for more…
