Each week The Hard Times reflects on a classic album from rock history. This week we decided to review Type O Negative’s “The Origin of Feces” because our dad wouldn’t let us listen to it when we were growing up.
Yeah, we know it’s fucking lame. But hey, our old man sure was a huge lamewad. He never let us listen to anything cool, especially if the record had a picture of a butthole on the front of it, so that meant “Origin of Feces” was not an option. We had the same argument with the old buzzkill about “Frankenchrist” as well – so look forward to that review later on as well.
So dad really was a jerk. He wouldn’t even listen to the album. He’d just look at the sleeve at tracks like “I Know You’re Fucking Someone Else” or “Kill You Tonight” and just dismiss the whole fucking thing outta hand. Open your mind, pops! You don’t understand the young people.
I mean, if we’re being honest, this record isn’t even that heavy. A handful of songs with moderate distortion about shitty ex-girlfriends and wanting to kill yourself – subject wise they’re basically eight-minute-long versions of Descendents songs. And dad had no problem with those records because of the “funny nerd drawing” on the cover.
And yeah it’s been kind of a bummer about the record but don’t tell our dad that. He can never know that he was sorta right about this. We mean, he wasn’t, he never is. But still maybe just don’t mention this to him at all.
Anyway, next week we’re gonna review beer. Like, just beer as an intoxicant because that one time he caught us drinking in the laundry room and he made us pour out our whole six-pack of Bartles and Jaymes. Fuck you dad! We do what we want now!
SCORE: 5 out of 5 mid-nineties wines coolers