Oh shit, Mom just said she and Steve ordered pizza and they got us mozzarella sticks! It’s time to wave the checkered flag and throw on our best Hawaiian shirt. You know, the one with the fedora pinned to it like mittens on a snow jacket. We ranked 50 ska songs based on how good they go with eating mozzarella sticks.
50. Buck-O-Nine “Irish Drinking Song”
This Irish jig-ska song makes us want to run around and fight our friends (but no punching faces). However, it puts us in more of a potato scone mood than a mozzarella stick mood.
49. Mephiskapheles “The Bumble Bee Tuna Song”
This song is great for making us hungry for mom’s famous tuna sandwiches and also the ominously warm embrace of Beelzebub. Unfortunately, it simply does not make us want to eat crispy, delicious ‘tizers. Hail Skatan.
48. Hepcat “Dance Wid’ Me”
While not as fast or bouncy as most songs on this list, “Dance Wid’ Me” is perfect for many things in our life. Mostly dancing poorly. Unfortunately, eating cheese sticks just isn’t one of them. Heck of a song though.
47. Voodoo Glow Skulls “Shoot The Moon”
We doubt this song title is in reference to the sick yo-yo move we learned at camp last summer. If it was, will one of the Glow Skulls please let us know? If so, we’ll move this much higher up on the list because when you add ska to yo-yo’s and cheese sticks, they form the holy trinity.
46. Dance Hall Crashers “Lost Again”
This swingy ’90s ska classic is timeless yet perfectly encapsulates the time it was released. With every horn line we get a wave of what it must have felt like to live in that magical time known as the Summer of Ska. However, it also reminds us of the time we rollerbladed too fast after “too much” fried cheese and upchucked something heinous so we’re gonna have to rank this one on the lower side.
45. Westbound Train “I’m No Different”
This sounds like old people music. No offense, old people. But you just can’t rollerblade to the Cheese Stick Hut for a hodgepodge of moz when you’re listening to this song.
44. Skankin’ Pickle “I’m In Love With a Girl Named Spike”
Despite the sick high school marching band-style horns, this song just doesn’t pair with cheese sticks. However, this band does make us think of another appetizer though. We’ll let you guess which one. Give up? It was tuna ceviche.
43. Operation Ivy “Unity”
This song reminds me of the time we all got moz sticks and then when there was only one left, we started arguing over who got to eat it. I wish someone would have played this song at that moment. Maybe then John would still be here with us today, instead of hanging out with the kids down the street.
42. No Doubt “Spiderwebs”
Everyone knows this song, even people who don’t eat mozzarella sticks. “Spiderwebs” mixes 3rd wave synth-ska with a pinch harmonic-based lead guitar making for a really fun musical experience while describing a stalker. We’d rank this one much higher if it didn’t slow down so much in the middle. We’re trying to enjoy a summer day by eating moz sticks until we’re literally sweating cheese. We don’t need a creeping reminder of our mortality.
41. Catbite “Everybody Talks”
Now THIS is cheese stick eatin’ music! The current wave of ska bands focuses more on two-tone with lyrics that are far more serious than their third-wave counterparts. While we were initially concerned with how this would impact the pair-ability of ska with cheese sticks, our fears were swiftly quelled. Bring on the sticks!
40. Bad Operation “Grandma’s Car”
Bad Operation is one of the “New Tone” bands that make up what will likely be known in the future as the mythical 4th wave of ska. “Grandma’s Car” is a great song that makes us consider stealing our grandma’s car and heading down to the restaurant ourselves to get the sticks hot out of the fryer. Unfortunately, we can’t because we don’t have a grandma or the ability to drive a car.
39. The Pietasters “Out All Night”
The second this one started, our foot started tapping and our stomach started growling. It sounded like it was saying, “Sweet, now we’re primed for cheese sticks!” It’s pretty impressive the things your body can do when you listen to ska.
38. Rx Bandits “Analog Boy”
We’re not sure what it is about suburban reggae that makes breaded mozzarella go down extra smooth, but this song has it in spades. We can’t wait until we’re old enough to have an unrequited crush on a girl and relate to bands like this but until then we’ll be at the kitchen table pounding sticks.
37. The Toasters “Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down”
Parents, teachers, mall cops. These are the bastards who grind us down in our life. But not today. Today we put on the Toasters and toast to cheesy sticks.
36. MU330 “Tune Me Out”
Turn it on! Turn it on! Turn it o-o-on! We are, of course, referencing the fryers that will cook our delicious friend appy-tappys.
35. The Forces of Evil “Angry Anthem”
What’s the first name in mozzarella sticks? “Aaron.” This song is perfect for the occasion. It’s fast, it’s fun, and it has lots of swearing. And let us tell you, someone our age fucking LOVES swear words. My shit ass damn mouth is piss-ass watering right now.
34. Stacked Like Pancakes “SFDD”
Can you believe they got away with sneaking in sick cuss words into the title of the song?! Now these guys are clever. Plus, they’ve contributed to the soundtrack of our journey to stickville. God, we love cuss words.
33. Madness “One Step Beyond”
Who needs vocals when you’ve got some hot, hot sax? And who needs vegetables when cheese is just as good? That’s a question we’ll be asking mom in about 45 minutes when this food gets here.
32. Save Ferris “The World Is New”
This song is the most fun we’ve had since we found out we were gonna binge on bovine brie tonight. It is impossible not to dance to this band. And we’re working up a real appetite doing the dance we got grounded for saying the name of.
31. The Slackers “Have The Time”
Do we have the time to eat the six orders of moz sticks we begged Mom to order? As long as we’re listening to ska bangers like this one we do.