While everyone remembers the day the ‘90s died (September 11th, 2001), very few remember the day the ‘80s died, December 27th, 2020. On top of the plagues, protests, and precipitous winds of change that occurred that fateful year, the rock’n’roll community lost one of the last true shredders, one Finnish Virtuoso unafraid of exploring the fretboard by the name of Alexi “Wildchild” Laiho. In his midst, a body of work was left that could, and should replace Eric Clapton, since Alexi could hang. And oh boy was that body of work beautiful, with the wicked leads and tasty solos that many have tried and failed to replicate, both with Children of Bodom, and Bodom after Midnight.
So, to celebrate the life of a man who knew all too well how to celebrate (a little too much), let’s get this ranking done for all of those who dare to shred, before and since.
10. Relentless and Reckless Forever (2011)
Coming in dead last, “Bodom’s Midlife Crisis” would have been a better title, or better yet, “Bodom Till Midnight,” since it falls so short. This album seems full of recycled material that Bodom has done better in the past. Deep down we would like to think they were trying to recycle their “heavy metal” sound to do their part in combating climate change, which would be a noble endeavor. You’d rather find yourself with some strange campers than be caught listening to this album.
Play it again: We’d rather drown in lake Bodom
Skip it: “Roundtrip to Hell and Back”
9. I Worship Chaos (2017)
Second to last on both this listing and chronological discography, with a title just as uncool, you would at least hope that some chaos worship would bring for a glorious blaze of guitar theatrics and keyboards in the haze. And while there is chaos to be found here, it’s in the inconsistent songs, quality and overall vibe, that fail to capture the very magic of Lake Bodom in winter. The danger too.
Play It Again: “I Worship Chaos”
Skip It: “Morrigan”
8. Are You Dead Yet (2005)
A literal and figurative question at this point, since the Wildchild antics and general ennui had taken a toll on the band, but thankfully there are some good times on this album, courtesy of singles “Are You Dead Yet” and “Trashed, Lost and Strungout.” Plus, “Living Dead Beat” is an anthem for creatures of the night everywhere. Unfortunately, the rest of the album falls flat with mediocre songwriting and unimaginative hooks.
Play it Again: “Living Dead Beat”
Skip it: “Punch Me I Bleed”
7. Blooddrunk (2009)
Owing more to thrash than to the typically symphonic and melodic side, this album delivers on its promise to get us whatever the hell blooddrunk is. Fun fact, the utterance of blooddrunk on the title track can be replaced with buttchug, and it fits perfectly fine to replace in a singalong at a metal kegger. Plus, there’s a banjo solo on this album, and who doesn’t want to get down with the sick twang of the ‘jo!
Play it Again: “Tie My Rope”
Skip It: “Roadkill Morning”
6. Something Wild (1997)
Children of Bodom’s debut album contained more of a raw, black metal-influenced sound, without the refined, polished songwriting of later releases. While the riff is the undisputed focal point of heavy metal, this album contains just too much riff salad for the discerning listener, and you don’t make friends with riff salad.
Play It Again: “Red Light in My Eyes Pt. 2”
Skip It: “In the Shadows”
5. Halo of Blood (2015)
A return to glorious form and a fuck you to the flower power hairband of 2010s bro festival culture, “Halo of Blood” proved that there was more in the tank from the boys. Combining sounds from all over Bodom’s storied career, with songwriting to boot, and some of the most inspired leads since “Follow the Reaper,” it sounded as if Bodom were finding their way after several average outings.
Play It Again: “Transference”
Skip It: “Scream for Silence”
4. Hexed (2017)
The Final Chapter of the Bodom saga, the band goes down swinging with a swagger unseen since their prime, with fresh axeman Danie Freyberg providing arguably the best counterpoint to the maestro since Alex Kuppola (sorry Roope, it’s not you, but also, it’s you). Plus, the entire band is on full display, with keyboard wizard Janne Wirrman being on point as always, basslines forged by Henkka T. “Blacksmith” Seppala, and ole reliable drummer Jaska Raatikinen bringing their A+ game. Truly, the band is on full display, no songs that dismay, living proof of their fame, and as Mike Shinoda would say, a reason to remember the name.
Play it Again: “This Road”
Skip It: “Hexed” (unless you want to be spellbound)
3. Hate Crew Deathroll (2003)
When the opening notes hit like a bunch of needles, directly thrust into your skin, you just know this is the stroke of genius. Not only had Alexi and co. not just popularize shredding for the next generation, but also tattoos, as millions across the globe would try in vain to capture the static, but beautiful attack of Bodom. Blistering guitars, melodic keyboards, rhythming rhythm section, this beauty’s got ‘em all.
Play it again: “Needled 24/7”
Skip it: “Chokehold (Cocked’n’Loaded)”
2. Hatebreeder (1999)
Don’t let the title fool you, there is so much love to give to this album, and so much more if you share it with a friend. This is the record where Bodom found their sound and perfected it, allegedly by hiking through the Swedish Woods instead of the Norwegian woods, hence the toning down of the black metal influences. What’s left is moody, melodic and shreddy metal that would influence a generation of guitarists and nail polish enthusiasts.
Play It Again: “Downfall”
Skip It: “Wrath Within”
1. Follow The Reaper (2001)
Since the very title of this album is a call to arms, you answer, or the reaper will presumably get you, and in your undead state, you would be forced to Follow the Reaper regardless. This album almost made the band change their name from Children of Bodom, to Adults of Bodom, due to its sheer quality, but it doesn’t have that ring to it. Rumour has it that Michael Fassbender based his performance in the perfection meme on his reaction to hearing this album. Soooo metal that scientists have yet to classify it.
Play It Again: It sucks you in like lake Bodom, so no choice.
Skip It: Oh GOD yes, we’ve been crushed and drowned for hours. More though.