Hail to the king, baby! Earlier today an industry leak confirmed beyond a doubt that Duke Nukem was joining the fray as the newest fighter…
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VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local Papa Roach fan Danny Herman scurried out of a Circle K this morning in apparent good health, despite being decapitated in…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local indie band TunnelFuzz are facing criminal charges today, and are officially banned from all Orange County venues after allegedly dosing…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local 33-year-old Tom Marshman was sorely dissapointed today to learn he is actually “37 fucking years old” after glancing at his…
Anyone who has read the Wikipedia page for King Henry VIII knows that he “was King of England from 1509 until his death in 1547.”…
NYACK, N.Y. — Local BMX rider Duncan Turley allegedly spent months preserving his cleanest Hatebreed shirt, all to officiate the wedding of Ashley Genoa and…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Sending waves of terror rippling throughout the streamer’s Twitch chat, an unhinged maniac rigged an NES to explode if Super Mario Bros.…
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
Looking to save face with your ex while also desperately trying to get her back? Cue the breakup playlist! Nothing says “I’m over it” like…
IRVING, Texas — Senior ExxonMobil executive Robert Stone announced today that his company will donate millions of dollars toward rebuilding gas stations across southeast Australia…
When you told me you’d never heard The Mountain Goats before I was over the moon. Finally, I got to give someone the gift of…
ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch of T-shirts, buttons, and barely…
ITHACA, N.Y. — Audience members at last night’s show headlined by indie rock quintet Hammock and Tree all agreed that the band’s “impromptu” dialogue between…
BOISE, Idaho — Local woman Aniya Searle is sadly spending her Valentine’s Day without a significant other with whom to have an argument, several very…
REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake to help himself lose 15…
TOKYO — Konami has announced a surprise partnership with renowned video game designer Hideo Kojima, confirming this morning that the video game company would be…
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