You’ve already made up your mind about me. Just because I was born in 1949, you think I’m a helpless old woman in a big, scary digital world. Well you can just “cancel” yourself because your notion that my generation is a bunch of bumbling ham-fists, unable to navigate today’s technology, is offensive and needs to end! Period. Send. Alexa, please add Ivermectin to my grocery list.
We’ve heard the jokes about grandma sending you a birthday card with a one-dollar bill in it. Well, what if I told you I keep a Bitcoin-digging laptop (paid for by my reverse mortgage) under my mattress? That’s right, this crypto-Grandma can send your dollar through the blog chains.
You think you’re speaking in code, but we know all about your filthy eggplants. It’s no surprise that Zoomers have violated the sanctity of garden produce and co-opted our beloved penis vegetable. Oh, that reminds me! Alexa, add eggplants to my grocery list. Oh, that reminds me! Alexa, add Ivermectin to my grocery list. Oh, that reminds me! Siri, play the Joe Rogan Experience.
Like any young person, I get my news from random strangers sharing Fox News articles on Facebook. But those of us with advanced life experience understand that there’s more to social media than that. Social media has the wonderful ability to bring together family and friends that otherwise might not be able to do so and it truly warms me. Why wouldn’t we want to be a part of something that effortlessly connects us? I only wish that my dear, late Charlie was here to see how easy it is to anonymously harass the ethnic restaurants in our area.