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Opinion: You’re Either a Cat Person or a Dog Person or a Normal Fucking Person Who Likes Both

Time to take a fucking stand, people. You are either a dog person: loyal, social, and agreeable. Or you are a cat person: independent, reserved, and creative. Or you are the mythical third type of human; a mysterious specter, with the unique ability to find gray areas within a seemingly binary issue. You know, a normal fucking person.

Most things in life are not binary, regardless of what your favorite conservative meme would have you believe. Don’t agree? Change my mind.

For a prime example of this, look no further than the heated “cats versus dogs” argument. You see, when building your personality from scratch it’s common practice to base a major part of your identity around your relationship with either cats or dogs, but curiously never both. Why can’t you be a cat person some days and a dog person others? Hell, maybe every once in a while you’ll have a day where you’re a bird person! But never a tarantula person. Those people are weird.

Cats and dogs actually have a lot in common. Not only are they kept as your prisoners in your home only to be let outside and fed at times when you see fit, but they’re both cute as hell. Why limit yourself to just one over the other when you can simply have both types of furry detainees?

On the other hand, have you ever met a cat and couldn’t believe their disinterest in you? Or have you hung around a dog and were floored that they gave everyone more attention than they gave you? Could be that you’re neither a cat or dog person and are literally just an asshole person who forces people to choose between false dichotomies? Animals can sniff that shit out, ya know.

 

It’s essential to keep an open mind and avoid thinking of the world as black and white. So whether you’re a cat, dog, or “both” person, just be happy you’re not a tarantula person. Seriously, they’re fucking weird.

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