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Opinion: I Back the Blue but Also Conveniently Don’t See Color

Listen up, buttercup. In this house, we always back the blue. We support the boys in blue and we know blue lives matter. This is a blue house! Blue, blue, blue! Except when voting. But don’t let that fool you. I don’t see color whatsoever.

That’s right. Black, white, or purple. I don’t care what color you are. Unless of course, you’re blue. Then I suddenly care and conveniently acknowledge that you’re being mistreated by the mainstream media. Besides that, we’re all just humans who bleed the same color, which just so happens to be red. But I cannot stress enough that red is also one of the colors I don’t see.

I also want to clarify that when I say “blues lives matter,” I’m talking specifically about cops, and I want to be clear that I don’t mean all people who wear blue uniforms in general. Best Buy employees, mail carriers, the New York Mets — all lives which do not matter. I guess I’m saying all colors’ lives matter equally, just some colors more equally than others.

That sounds kind of racist-y now that I think about it, but let’s not unpack that. Wouldn’t want to contradict my lifelong beliefs this late in the game. Especially since every shirt in my wardrobe has an American flag on it. These colors I don’t see don’t run.

Anyway, as a white guy, I say the best way to deal with racism is to not talk about it at all. What works best for me is to just pretend racism doesn’t exist against all evidence otherwise. The way I see it, if it doesn’t affect you personally, then it’s probably nothing to worry about. Try ignoring racism and see how that goes. That’s what’s been working for people like me!