Well, this was certainly unexpected. Here I am, a relatively law-abiding American citizen, trying to submit my application for a simple “License To Ill” only to get railroaded by the bureaucracy down at the county clerk’s office again. Why can’t things just be easy for once?
Also, I think it’s strange that “Ill Licensure” has its own office. Couldn’t they save a lot of money by just having it handled by the Public Works department?
Of course, I expected there to be some paperwork involved with me becoming a fully credentialed “iller.” But why in the love of fuck do I need to provide five years worth of tax returns to prove that I have 51% of my estate dedicated to “dope chillin’” at all times. That seems like something I should be able to provide on rep alone without it being filled out in triplicate.
And the clerk in this office absolutely reeks of salvia. He definitely did not file those 1040s properly.
All I want to be able to do with this license is fight for my right to party within a completely above board capacity, which will already be difficult since the License To Ill is only valid in Williamsburg and parts of Red Hook for some reason. I mean why even have the license if you’re gonna make it impossible to apply for and even then restrict it so much?
You know how most government offices have a little tray with coffee in the waiting room? Well this one just has a box filled with orange juice and forties of malt liquor, so that’s nice at least.
So now they’re saying that I need to refile all of my previous paperwork because “the beat was dropped” in my last application. I’m not even sure what that means so maybe this whole idea was a non-starter. I think I’m just gonna mix myself one more brass money for the road. Boy, it’s gonna be a pretty sloppy subway ride back to Brooklyn for me.