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I’m Going To Win Over My Family’s Love and Affection One “Pay What You Want” Bandcamp Link to My Grindcore Band’s Demo at a Time

All my life, I’ve felt like I’ve been a huge disappointment to my parents, and everyone else in my family. I feel like I’m the outcast, the forgotten son with an alcohol and VHS hoarding problem, the classic black sheep story. But this holiday season, with the help of Bandcamp and my band Septic Dunk Tank, I’m going to achieve the level of love and admiration of my family I deserve once and for all.

I can see the look on their faces now! They’ll say, “Our boy has finally done it! He’s put out a modern-day masterpiece of horror movie-influenced, b-movie sample-packed grindcore and he’s willing to let us, the ones closest to him, name OUR OWN price for it.”

I’m pretty sure that’s about as good as it gets as far as the perks of being related to a musician go.

Sure, my oldest brother Ricky has given my parents 2 healthy grandchildren, rejuvenating life back into their lives and existence, and my big-shot younger brother Bill has gone on to become regional manager of a chain of Tully’s restaurants in upstate New York, but one thing they cannot do is give them the gift of grind at a reasonable price. Or if they choose, no. Price. At. All.

Lately, my parents have given me the impression they aren’t totally on board with my choice to live off my band alone, but once they actually hear what we created in their garage that one Saturday, I’m sure all that’ll change. I just want them to love me for being a sick horror grind freak. But I will admit, making my dad regret screaming at us to shut up while recording that demo will be sort of a sweet feeling.

I know most of my family doesn’t really “get” the whole Septic Dunk Tank thing, and I get that. But I think when they hear what I’ve done with the help of my buds Scabb and Sico Nick, and especially at such a generous price, I’ll no longer be viewed as the unlovable loser I am now.