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If God Wanted Me To Vote for a Progressive Then He Should Have Made Me More Open-Minded

As an aspiring pastor, I wish that people were always asking me if I believe Donald Trump is a Godly man. If they did, I would tell them I don’t know what’s inside the man’s heart. But what I do know is that if our Heavenly Father wanted me to vote for a racially-tolerant, climate-conscious, pro-choice liberal, then why the Hell did He make me such a narrow-minded prick?

Don’t get me wrong, I see where they’re coming from. It only took a couple months in office for Trump to violate just about every one of God’s sacred laws. But when I think about casting my vote for a Democrat who wants to give healthcare to every American, I get sick to my stomach. Not literally, of course. I can’t afford the hospital bill.

Is that God telling me not to vote for Joe Biden? Is He telling me, personally, that He’s updated His code of morality to accommodate our President’s unconventional lifestyle? Maybe we only think banging porn stars while your wife is at home with your newborn child is a sin because God hasn’t updated the rule book lately. Who’s to say? And to answer that question, Trump will tell you it’s… well, Trump.

Still, I can’t help but wonder why God would use me to deliver His word if I’m really too much of a racist coward to stand by my principles. I guess God works in mysterious, biggoted ways sometimes.

At the end of the day, I have faith that God wants what is most convenient for me. And right now, that means voting for Donald Trump.