NEW YORK – The fraud trial of Donald Trump began with heartfelt letters from Hollywood couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis testifying to the defendant’s upstanding character, according to reports.
Kutcher’s letter, read aloud by Trump’s defense attorney, recounted a memorable golf outing. “I remember the time Trump showed me how to turn a triple bogey into a hole-in-one. It was truly a masterclass in alternative scorekeeping,” wrote Kutcher.
Kunis on the other hand focused on the president’s transparency.
“Not only is Donald not a fraud, he’s as transparent as they come,” her letter read. “One time he showed me all these really intense documents – maps with big arrows and troop movement plans on them. So cool!”
Lead prosecutor Janis Dorris was unimpressed, telling cameras outside the courtroom, “While Mr. Kutcher’s golfing anecdotes enlightening, this trial is about financial fraud and/or me getting as much TV time as I can. Let’s focus on that #NoNonsenseDorris”
Outside the courthouse, a mix of supporters and detractors gathered. Some held signs reading “Trump’s Scorecard is Always Right,” while others sported t-shirts with Kutcher and Kunis’s faces crossed out.
Unconfirmed rumors suggest that a similar letter of endorsement from Kanye West’s was rejected as it contained too many antisemitic slurs.
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