15. Swervedriver “Last Train to Satansville” (1993)
Putting on this song will only make the party crave that one insufferable guy who always picks up the acoustic guitar to play “Wonderwall.” This will be a first in the party world.
14. Ringo Deathstar “Kaleidoscope” (2011)
Hard to believe no one seems interested in Ringo Deathstar after a steady dose of Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, and nostalgic hip hop songs from the late 2000s. I don’t get it either.
13. Chapterhouse “Breather” (1990)
Turns out this party is not so into bands that helped establish shoegaze as a genre and are seemingly underrated on a national level. Could it be that they just want to have a few drinks, meet new people, and potentially hook up? That can’t be it.
12. Blankenberge “Somewhere Between” (2017)
Putting on Russian shoegaze is a surefire way to never be invited to another party ever again. It doesn’t matter how many times you use the word “ethereal” or “swirling” when describing this genre. It just won’t sink in for some reason.
11. Jesus and the Mary Chain “Just Like Honey” (1985)
It’s always fun to discover the evolution of music genres and their early beginnings like Jesus and the Mary Chain’s influence on shoegaze. Just not at a party. Tonight’s the night for blacking out and forgetting that you put a frozen pizza in the oven at 4:00 a.m. after you got home. Not learning music history.
10. Pale Saints “Sight of You” (1990)
The term “shoegaze” seems derogatory in nature. It’s almost like critics, the general public, and everyone at this party don’t respect this genre as a genuine form of expression. You’ll find this out the hard way.
9. Whirr “Leave” (2012)
Turns out, no one at this party gives a shit that this Whirr song is part of your pre-game warmup for doing a keg stand. Why can’t you be a normal person who likes normal music that’s produced by 12 Sony executives and written only to sell Geico insurance?
8. Superheaven “Youngest Daughter” (2013)
There were seemingly only two brief moments in history where shoegaze and shoegaze-forward bands were a thing. That was the early ‘90s and pockets of the 2010s. There’s a reason this genre didn’t exist in the Renaissance era.
7. Drop Nineteens “Kick the Tragedy” (1992)
Picture this: You’re at a party and there are two types of guys. One wants to talk to you about their crypto portfolio and entrepreneurial endeavors. The other wants to talk about important songs that established shoegaze as a genre. Which one do you think people will choose to socialize with? Tough call.
6. Nothing “Blue Line Baby” (2018)
Shoegaze gets its name because guitarists in this genre stare at their illustrious pedalboards the entire show while completely motionless, and it looks like they’re gazing at their footwear. This is exactly what partygoers will do if you try to put on any shoegaze bands. This is a bad thing.
5. Ride “Vapour Trail” (1990)
If you’re one of those people who goes to a party and doesn’t like to say much, you’re in luck. After putting on this song, no one will so much as make eye contact with you. But hey, you know the importance of Ride to a genre no one likes when they’re shitfaced, so that’s something.
4. Lush “Nothing Natural” (1992)
Unless the party likes a whimsical mixture of obscured vocals, guitar distortion, and effects, this might be too much for them. But if they do, they’re probably lying so they don’t hurt your feelings. That’s kind of nice of them.
3. Cocteau Twins “Cherry-coloured Funk” (1990)
After 15 minutes of explaining to the party that the Cocteau Twins were extremely influential in the shoegaze and dream pop worlds, you’re going to be banned from selecting any more music indefinitely. The dog will be the only one to want your attention, but only because it can’t understand you.
2. Slowdive “Star Roving” (2017)
Slowdive is an absolute legend in the world of shoegaze, but a total nightmare when it comes to getting hammered with a close group of 40 people. This is not their fault. Party culture is to blame for that one.
1. My Bloody Valentine “Only Shallow” (1991)
“Loveless” is a genre-defining album. Unfortunately, no one cares about that fun stat when they’re 12 beers deep. It’s almost like no one likes shoegaze when you’re partying. Maybe even when they’re not partying. Hard to tell.