ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Troy Floor, lead singer of the band Surfside, was apparently really showing off that he knew all the words to his songs at the Stone Pony Saturday last night, offended sources reported.
“He’s totally alienating us right now. Look at him hogging the mic—and then shoving it in our faces that he knows ALL the words—and we don’t. It’s like, ‘Hello? What about us? Don’t we matter?’” said Stone Pony first-timer Ricky Karsinky, as the band launched into another song. “Here we go again. We get it, dude. You know the song. You know the little tricky vocal parts. What’d you, go to your own Spotify page and memorize this stuff before going on? Sad. I think they should hand out lyric books at the door, like at church, and let people take turns at the mic. Otherwise, they’re just showboating.”
A nonplussed Surfside frontman defended his choice to act as the venue’s lone vocalist for the night.
“Wait, am I missing something here? Didn’t I suffer for these songs? Didn’t I write the lyrics? I went to Julliard. I studied with Josh Groban or rather watched some clips of him on YouTube. I changed my name from Brenner Hethrington to Troy Floor. Shouldn’t I get to sing?” said the frontman between sets. “This goes all the way back to Sappho, man. You write the words, you get to sing the song. You don’t see Harry Connick, Jr. or Michael Bublé letting the crowd get up there and sing. And Surfside is pretty close to Bublé certain nights—depending on the crowd, of course.”
Bublé expressed empathy for Karsinky and concertgoers everywhere who come to a show expecting to participate.
“It’s important sometimes, you know, to let the crowd have a whack. It makes them feel seen, like they didn’t just pay money to watch some guy sing. When I do ‘Jingle Bells,’ for example, I pretend like I’ve forgotten the ‘ha ha ha’ part or the ‘oh!’ part, and I let them have at it,” said the five-time Grammy winner. “I say, ‘Now just the people on the left,’ you know, or ‘Now the people in the back.’ That way it’s not like I’m some know-it-all who’s showing off that he knows how to do the song. You never want to look like you know the songs more than an audience when you’re on stage.”
At press time, Karsinky was seen badgering the merch guy to let him sell some hats.