HARTFORD, Conn. — Struggling ska band ‘The Skadventures of Tromb Sawyer’ is reportedly taking the saying ‘sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching’ as their new mantra after failing to draw a crowd for their last five shows, sources confirmed.
“It’s hard to stay upbeat when not a single person has shown up to our gigs for three weeks, but this quote always helps me get back out there and skank my heart out anyways,” said frontman Barry Bloom, looking at the tattoo of the quote on his forearm. “If ska has taught me anything, it’s that life has its ups and downs, but if we choose to focus on the upstrokes we can always overcome the downbeats. Man, that was actually a pretty good saying, I hope someone shows up to our next show so I can use that as banter between songs.”
Brent Clausen, the bartender working at the venue during their latest empty gig, was the sole witness to the band’s depressing show of perseverance.
“The courage they displayed getting up there and skanking in front of an empty venue and singing to no one but each other was simultaneously the most heroic and saddest display I’ve ever seen,” said Clausen, using a bar rag to wipe a tear of sadness from one eye and a tear of laughter from another. “I was honestly so inspired that I contemplated quitting to follow my passion as an artist. But then I remembered no one showed up to my last five gallery showings, so I just poured myself a shot of Jack Daniels and finished my shift.”
According to local historian Beth Stevens, the saying that had been uplifting people for centuries was actually credited to the author Mark Twain, and was inspired by his love of ska.
“According to his private journals Mark Twain was a massive ska fan, and he originally coined this iconic saying while skanking alone in his residence while listening to early proto-ska records on his phonograph,” said Stevens, displaying one of the author’s checkered bow ties from the Mark Twain Center’s collection. “He mostly kept this part of his life private, but the signs were always there — I mean tell me the name ‘Huckleberry Finn’ doesn’t sound like something a ska fan came up with.”
At press time, historians also confirmed that the quote “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” by the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu was about learning to skank at an ancient ska show.