KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local bartender Marty Craig allowed himself to enjoy the Limp Bizkit classic “Rollin’” in its entirety last night without a tinge…
HOUSTON — A holographic version of Mick Jagger waited patiently offstage yet again at a Rolling Stones concert last night, ready for the corporeal version…
The first time my girlfriend and I saw Sharona she had the cutest pout on her face as she was turned away from a bar…
LONDON — Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is completely oblivious that he will soon embark on his final string of performances, confirmed the Lord…
Spotify is the subject of much debate in the music community. While it allows artists to be heard by a wide audience, it also depreciates…
DEARBORN, Mich. — The Black Keys held a press conference at Ford Motor Company headquarters earlier today, announcing that their upcoming single would skip their…
CINCINNATI — Advertising account rep Danny Quintana has been forever saddled with the nickname “Nickelback” after admitting to coworkers 15 years ago that he sort…
HUDSON, N.Y. — Chester Fields, self-proclaimed “super fan” of indie-rock band The Break, paid a grand total of $0.00 yesterday for the band’s new album…
BALTIMORE — Following weeks of public pressure, local classic rock station WBZA admitted today that their claim of playing “all the hits” is false, as…
NEW YORK — Inventor and former Weezer fan Dr. Stanley Tankowitz successfully time travelled last week to September 10, 2001, to warn Americans that Weezer…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Musician Dan Beck has been repeatedly playing the same part of the Pavement song “Silence Kid” in a local Guitar Center throughout…
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Sugar Ray vocalist and TV personality Mark McGrath admitted today that he now embraces being called “Sugar Gay” after years of…
ATLANTA — Local drummer Drew Mooney plans to sit around and just go fuck himself for the next few weeks as other members of his…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly, unrelentingly pretentious I decided ‘fuck…