INDIANAPOLIS – Local punk Xak Henderson fought through immense pain and life-threatening injuries in order to use his last words to talk shit about his…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a recent show by garage punk band, The Dooley’s, were reportedly infuriated that the ‘selfish pricks’ had the audacity to…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local interior designer Sara “Slime” Gonzales gave Maggot House a much-needed makeover after convincing its residents to expand their floor plan by…
WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
NEW YORK — Republican Representative-elect George Santos is facing more scrutiny about his personal life after overwhelming evidence began to pile up refuting his claims…
DOVER, Del. — Struggling power-thrash band Boot Full of Piss recently sat down to a predictably cheap dinner made up of a bunch of unused…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local teenager and die-hard fan of The Menzingers, Jesse Smith, appeared today to be “tearfully nostalgic” for his 20s, which have…
NEW YORK — Local guitarist Ian Serra refused to take on local punk band Complete Malarkey’s surname despite the group’s longstanding practice as such, sources…
LONDON, Ky. — The Ghost of Christmas Past is reportedly “super stoked” to show infamous miser Ebenezer Scrooge how legit dope the local scene used…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk house The Meat Mansion hired the small market attached to the gas station at the end of the street to…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald J. Trump returned to Twitter to complain about three spirits who allegedly visited him late on Christmas Eve in…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local man Eric Palermo revealed himself to be a total poser after wearing a CBGB T-shirt despite never stepping foot in an…
LAKEWOOD, Ohio — Local pit boss Ralph MacQuery created a sense of chaos and turmoil when he suddenly hoisted a lost shoe above the pit…
Hey, that’s a sweet OFF! hoodie you got there! You seem like you’re a big fan. I’m the band’s manager and if you’re such a…
I’m the Mother Who Wouldn’t Give Mike a Pepsi and You Should Know There Are Two Sides to Every Story
I’m the Mother Who Wouldn’t Give Mike a Pepsi and You Should Know There Are Two Sides to Every Story
I have always done the proper, motherly thing and put my child’s needs before my own. Yet I have been painted as a villain by…