IOWA CITY, Iowa — The members of local prog metal band Miscreations are embroiled in debate as to whether their name is “Miscreations” or “The Miscreations,” embarrassed friends confirmed.
“I noticed that when our bassist Hunter made our TikTok, he named the account ‘TheMiscreations’ which is definitely not our name,” said guitarist and vocalist Paul Killian. “I looked back at emails we’ve all sent, and I think it’s a 50/50 split between the four of us. But I refuse to broach the subject. This could open a Pandora’s Box that ends our band permanently; we do not handle confrontation well. Our fight over the color of our first show flier led to us not talking to each other for four months.”
This issue of ambiguity regarding plural band names plagues local bands and major-label legends alike.
“I have no fuckin’ idea if we’re The Misfits or just Misfits,” admitted Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, power chord engineer of the iconic New Jersey horror punks. “I’ve only confided this with some other musicians in the same predicament, like Chino from Deftones and King Buzzo from The Melvins. Or is it ‘The Deftones’ and just ‘Melvins?’ I lost our trademark certificate back in 1981 so I can’t look there. Please don’t tell Glenn about that.”
Experts in the Artists and Repertoire field stress the importance of achieving consistent branding with your outfit’s name.
“You know in The Social Network when that testicle-looking Justin Timberlake says to drop the ‘the?’ That was inspired by me,” boasted Gary Klein, longtime A&R rep at Capitol Records. “I make a salary in the upper six figures telling 17-year-olds to drop the ‘the,’ it’s that important. And I don’t do shit else. Don’t even listen to their music. Not really a music fan myself. Anyways, you don’t generally want to muck up your band name with unnecessary articles unless it’s 2001 or you’re a tryhard CBGB wannabe punk band. Or if you’re so broke, you can’t afford the shorter domain name. Now excuse me, I have a date in a few minutes, and her name is cocaine.”
As of press time, all non-vocalist members of Miscreations have demanded printed copies of the band’s otherwise indecipherable lyrics.