STOCKTON, Calif. — Local California woman and artistic muse Vanessa Murder, better known as “Miss Murder” from the AFI song of the same name, had changed her name to Mrs. Murder-Harrison, following her recent marriage to Adrian Harrison, proprietor of several restaurants in the area, confirmed sources who regularly post on the Ultimate-Guitar message board.
“I was into that whole ‘emo’ thing back in the day,” Murder-Harrison said. “And it’s beyond flattering to have inspired such a cool rock song, even if I wasn’t able to make the video shoot. But I knew that I was missing something, or rather someone, to share my heart with. That all changed the day I got lunch at Vivante and met the man who is now my husband. With our union, my name is not changed. Rather, our souls are intertwined.”
Calvin Scargill, an AFI fan who still had his original autographed CD copy of “Decemberunderground,” expressed confusion about hearing the news.
“Wait, she’s a real person?” Scargill said. “I mean, I guess it makes sense that someone real inspired that song. But I didn’t think it was someone whose actual name was ‘Miss Murder.’ And that’s actually her family name? Nobody thought maybe to change that for the sake of anonymity? Honestly, the whole mystique was dampened when I looked at her Instagram page and saw she’s marketing what’s basically a Swiffer but with all kinds of holistic bullshit sprinkled in. I thought she’d at least have a couple tattoos.”
AFI lead singer Davey Havok provided a little more backstory on Murder-Harrison.
“It probably doesn’t come as a surprise that I had a bit of a crush on her,” Havok said. “I remember when [AFI drummer] Adam [Carson] introduced me to her at a show in ‘04 and I said, without thinking, ‘Hey, Miss Murder’ and she blushed and rolled her eyes in the most adorable way. I didn’t want to come on too strong, but I figured an anthemic song with a catchy yet cryptic chorus and a screamed breakdown would be the perfect way to let her know how I feel. But then the song got so big and we just didn’t keep in touch. It’s fine. I’m sure she’s happy with this Adrian guy.”
At press time, AFI revealed their song “Girl’s Not Grey” and about 20 more tracks of theirs were also about Murder-Harrison.