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Local Grindcore Band Cock Chopper Snubbed By Grammys Again

LOS ANGELES – Regionally popular grindcore outfit Cock Chopper were yet again snubbed for “Best Metal Performance” at tonight’s Grammys.

“This was supposed to be our year, I can’t believe this fucking horseshit,” said frontman Jack Cock. “First Scion goes bust and now this? This was a 34-song, eight-minute masterpiece and they completely ignored it.”

The three-piece band’s latest album, Prolapsed with a Vomit Dildo, was hailed by critics as “brutal” and “fucking heavy.” Many ill-informed, self-described music insiders expected Cock Chopper to walk away with the Grammy on the strength of songs like “My Knife, Your Ass” and “Re-Fucked To Death.”

As of press time, it appeared the album artwork — which features a crudely drawn image of a busty young woman riding a motorcycle-shaped penis with pubic-hair handlebars — was also snubbed for “Best Artwork.”

Semi-Related Update: Sources confirmed Leonard DiCaprio attended the Grammy’s tonight “just in case.”

Photo By Justin Gonyea.

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