JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Limp Bizkit superfan Dylan “Chuds” McKenzie pinpointed the exact day Fred Durst is referring to in the band’s hit single “Break Stuff,” something previously thought impossible by his fellow nu metal fans.
“I was going over the lyrics and it hit me: what if Fred not wanting to wake up, the ‘he-said, she-said bullshit,’ and the threat of bodily harm with a chainsaw were all connected? From there, I just had to hack into the IRS database and pore through all of Limp Bizkit’s tax write-offs for a chainsaw,” explained McKenzie. “Once I found a November 20th, 1998 Home Depot receipt for a $500 Husqvarna 365, all the other pieces fell into place. On that day, Fred Durst slept through his alarm and missed a call-in radio interview. The two morning show hosts—a man and a woman—started talking shit about him so Durst threatened to put a hit on them before going out and buying a chainsaw so he could do the job himself. It was only after Limp Bizkit’s lawyers explained to Fred how much a murder conviction would hurt the band’s record sales that Durst calmed down and wrote ‘Break Stuff’ instead.”
McKenzie’s boyfriend Adam Dreyfuss says he has been obsessing over this mystery since before the two met in a Limp Bizkit Facebook group five years ago.
“Look, I love the Bizkit, but Dylan takes it to an unhealthy level,” admitted Dreyfuss. “We were only dating for a week when he told me his life’s passion was figuring out when the events of ‘Break Stuff’ occurred. Talk about a red flag. Had I known how many nights I’d be eating dinner by myself and going to bed alone while he hid in the basement trying to solve his ‘mystery’ I never would have gone out with him in the first place.”
Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst acknowledged McKenzie’s hard work as the fan became something of a hero in the nu metal community.
“These fans, man, it blows me away how far they’ll go to figure our shit out,” said Durst. “This Dylan guy absolutely nailed the inspiration for ‘Break Stuff’—I mean, he was 100% spot on. Some other fan just discovered that ‘Faith’ off our first record was originally done by the dude from Wham! I’ve been singing that song for almost 30 years, and I had no idea. Talk about a mind blower!”
At press time, McKenzie planned to solve the mystery of the meaning behind “Nookie.”