ORLANDO, Fla. — Audience members were disgusted to see local music fan Dylan Avalos singing along for the entirety of The Long Shower’s set, despite not having the microphone pointed at him, multiple irate sources confirmed.
“I really didn’t think this was a huge deal. I wasn’t even screaming along, I was just kind of singing like anyone does in their car, but it seemed to really piss some people off. I think someone hit me with their shoe at one point when I was singing along with the song ‘Jessica Thinks,’ and that sucker hurt,” said Avalos shortly after buying a shirt from The Long Shower at their merch table. “I just wanted to show my support since they were just the openers and most people were still standing at the bar. I didn’t think I was bothering anyone.”
Though Avalos thought his show of support was discreet, but it drew the ire of eyewitnesses.
“He’s a fucking poser, putting on a whole display for the band. When I was coming up we’d flip off and spit at everyone on stage. And those were the bands we liked,” said Whitney Pisano, former scene veteran and current H&R Block Branch Manager. “This current crop of so-called fans who buy merch as soon as they walk in and then wear it over their other clothes for the rest of the show, or worse yet, actually pay for stickers and put them on their laptop, they make me sick. The real way to support the scene is to keep losers away from it.”
Ethnomusicologist Spero Mazes notes the cultural implications involved with singing along during shows are intensively specific and change with the times.
“Throughout the years, the delineation of singing between onstage vocalist and audience was clear. Unless there were specific cues like turning the house lights up, gang vocals, a repeated chorus, or the singer pointing the microphone toward the audience, the crowd should avoid singing at all costs,” Spero said. “There was a brief period in the early aughts when Dashboard Confessional inspired their fanbase to sing along without concern for their ticket-paying neighbors in the audience. The only thing worse than singing aloud with abandon is getting the lyrics wrong when the mic is pointed at you.”
Lead singer Heath Barbudo could not be reached for comment, but witnesses reported seeing prewritten banter and printed pages from genius.com taped to the stage.