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Guy Realizing He Only Knows Lyrics to Part of Pop Song Used in Weird Al Polka Medley

MERIDEN, Conn. — Local milquetoast Artie Hangreth embarrassed himself mid-singalong in front of his partner’s friends as he realized he only truly knew the lyrics included in an old Weird Al polka medley, cringing onlookers confirmed.

“I was out with my girlfriend’s friends and trying to make a good impression as they sang along to a playlist of songs they loved in college. Owl City’s ‘Fireflies’ was blasting and the melody seemed familiar so I figured it was safe to belt out. Man, what a faux pas! I could feel the rolling eyes as everyone started to notice I only knew the few bars from ‘Polka Face’ off 2011’s ‘Alpocalypse,’” said the meek Hangreth, as the women kept their distance. “I mean, I’d even be better off if it was a full parody, at least then I’d be able to fake it for the entire song. These medleys just include a few seconds of the damn thing! Why couldn’t I have just been more open to radio hits in my early 20s?!”

Hangreth’s girlfriend voiced her disgust at her partner’s lack of social graces when it came to the pop music of the late aughts.

“It’s such a shame, you know? He was doing so well, bonding with my sorority sisters as though he had pledged Kappa Theta right along with us, but then had to ruin it all by remarking ‘what a great tuba line’ the song has, and that the ‘accordion solo coming up is actually a wry musical quote from Spike Jones and his City Slickers.’ What am I supposed to do with that?” complained Deija Pilkes, ignoring a sheepish wave from her embarrassed beau. “Then when he kept slipping from the chorus of ‘Fireflies’ to T-Pain’s ‘Blame It on the Alcohol’ by accident like three different times, I had to finally tell him to find another corner of the bar to be a weirdo in. There’s nothing that ruins a girl’s night quicker than someone thinking a ‘hand fart’ solo is coming up later in the song.”

Professional pomposity puncturer “Weird Al” Yankovic himself has proclaimed the occurrence an epidemic that he feels indebted to find the cure for.

“You’ve heard it here first: I solemnly vow to go back and re-record polka versions of the FULL songs I used in my medleys over the years, just so dweebs, dorks, and doofuses everywhere will finally wrap their heads around non-novelty music,” said a clearly stricken Yankovic. “It’s scientifically proven that bird calls, old-timey horn honks, and clarinet solos make music more palatable to geek ears, and I will harness their power to keep my bizarre brethren informed. It’s my fault I’ve gotten them into this mess, now it’s my mission to get them out. Get that recording studio prepped, I’ve got a long night ahead of me.”

At press time, Hangreth further embarrassed himself when he only knew the MAD Magazine spoof version of the prestige television show everyone was talking about.