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Fire Alarm That Plays Imagine Dragons Guarantees Total Evacuation

LOS ANGELES — Gnull Industries recently announced a new fire alarm that guarantees total room evacuation by blaring songs from pop rock band Imagine Dragons, confirmed sources who left the building just thinking about it.

“I got the idea when I was in Target,” explained Gnull CEO Dee Irmao. “I was shopping for a pair of socks when I heard some cringeworthy song come on the loudspeakers. The second I heard lyrics about a ‘believer’ I automatically ran towards the fire exit, along with all the other patrons. When I got outside and took several Advil, I had the epiphany: This music could be used to make people flee in terror. Perfect for a fire alarm. We’re also going to make a radon detector that plays ‘Radioactive,’ so be on the lookout for that. We were already approved for the patents. Turns out, it’s way easier to use someone else’s music for your personal benefit than I thought.”

Although initially insulted, the band came around when they were shown the potential licensing earnings.

“I was pissed for a few days, but then I tried to listen to some of our music and I got it,” said lead singer Dan Reynolds. “Day one these fire alarms start selling out, and we’re drowning in royalty checks. Honestly when we started this band we were just looking to make songs to play during action movie trailers and Toyota commercials, but this is a new purpose. Now we can save lives instead of ruining someone’s day. I am still pretty annoyed that the CIA uses our music for enhanced interrogation so much.”

Top audiologists worked hard to explain the phenomenon of fleeing in the face of Imagine Dragons.

“We played it for mice in a maze and they just ate one another,” said Chair of Audiology at Johns Hopkins Dr. Brenda Fo. “Apparently something about Imagine Dragons music triggers the flight or fight response in mammals, causing them to leave where the music is playing or die trying. Lizards are totally cool with it, for whatever reason. The human mind cannot possibly process the sheer levels of cheesy arena rock and goes into overload. Escape becomes the only option.”

At press time, Gnull Industries was developing a new smoke alarm that only plays “I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas.”