ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Experts at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research have warned that the resurgence of nu-metal over the past few years could be a precursor to a renewed nationwide interest in swing music not seen since the ‘90s.
“We’ve been concerned with this for a couple years now,” said sociologist Tiana Melbrook. “As soon as we saw nu-metal become popular again, thanks largely to social media platform TikTok, we’ve been warning that it could lead to another swing revival. After all, the two genres surged in popularity at the same time in the mid-to-late ‘90s, so it’s completely feasible to presume that it could happen again. I want to take this opportunity to personally warn young adults against dabbling too frivolously in nu-metal music and fashion, because a comeback by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy could result, which is something nobody wants.”
Recent nu-metal fan Kyle Vulmer was taken aback by the news.
“Oh wow, I hadn’t thought of that,” Vulmer gasped as he recoiled in horror. “I’ve been getting into bands like Slipknot and Spineshank, as well as wearing choker chains and Tripp pants, but I guess I didn’t think about what could result from that. I had completely forgotten that nu-metal’s original popularity coincided with a brief surge in swing music. God, that ‘Mr. Pinstripe Suit’ song was absolutely terrible, and I can’t believe I would be partly responsible if we were to be subjected to something like that again. I’m going to do the socially responsible thing and swear off all nu-metal right now.”
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy frontman Scotty Morris was excited to hear that his band might make a comeback.
“I had been aware that nu-metal was big again, and I’ve been secretly hoping we would be next,” Perry noted. “Most people don’t know this, but my band has been pretty active ever since our handful of hits 30 years ago. We’re more ready than ever to start playing Super Bowl halftime shows and having our music pervade the airwaves again. I’ll find a new fedora to wear in our promo shots and start researching colloquialisms and slang from World War II for new song titles and lyrics. I for one couldn’t be more excited, so who’s stoked to hear some more Big Bad Voodoo Daddy?”
At press time, Melbrook was fearing for the worst after observing a sharp uptick in the sale of pinstriped suits.
