TRENTON, N.J. — Black metal band Kald Syk completely humiliated themselves by playing a song about Satan after opener Speared Side had already covered the same subject matter, sources report.
“We decided to add the song ‘Praise for the Goat’ because it embodies all that is evil and impure,” Kald Syk frontman Erik Trondhelm said before the band’s encore. “The good people of Trenton deserve to be washed clean of the blood of the lamb, and I look upon it as a duty for Kald Syk to perform such a cleansing. It seems we have received some negative feedback because one of the openers already played a song about the Dark Lord, but we cannot bother ourselves with such trivialities. We do not waste our time worrying about what other bands are doing. As far as we are concerned, we are the only black metal band that writes songs about Satan.”
Speared Side guitarist Darren Riddle was shocked and enraged at Kald Syk’s transgression.
“I can’t believe they thought they could get away with that,” Riddle said. “Everyone was here when we played ‘Soldiers of Lucifer,’ and I even saw some members of Kald Syk in the audience. They need to get some ideas of their own, man, or at least check Encyclopaedia Metallum before they write their songs to make sure the idea hasn’t already been covered by another band. Can you imagine what black metal would be like if every band just covered the same subject with their music?”
Audience member Cora Brenhardt was taken aback by what she saw.
“I never thought I’d see something like that at a black metal show,” Brenhardt observed. “To be completely honest, I was really embarrassed for the members of Kald Syk. Weren’t they paying attention during Speared Side’s set? I can’t imagine being a headliner and doing something like that, even by accident. And they haven’t even apologized for it or anything. They’re just continuing on with their set as if that didn’t even happen. If I were them, I wouldn’t even feel comfortable showing my face around this place after that. I was a huge fan of theirs before this show, but I think I’m going to have to find some other black metal bands to idolize going forward.”
At press time, Kald Syk was criticized further when their drummer used blast beats after Speared Side’s drummer had already done that.