CHICAGO — Local dad Patrick Larken caught his oldest daughter in the backseat of her boyfriend’s fogged-up Toyota Corolla singing along to Weezer’s seventh studio album “Raditude,” confirmed sources.
“I suspected something was going on for a while now,” said Larken, father of three and an early Weezer fan. “The first time we officially met, he was wearing a Van Weezer-era t-shirt. It was just such an offensive thing to wear to meet your girlfriend’s parents. What kind of influence is he having on my daughter? When I caught them, she of course ran away crying, yelling, ‘Weezer is more than just the ’90s, Dad!’ In my day, it was simpler—you just had two albums to deal with: ‘The Blue Album’ and ‘Pinkerton.’ Kids today have so much Weezer music. How do you know what’s good and bad anymore?”
Daughter Jessica Larken didn’t see what all the fuss was about and said her dad needed to let it go.
“It’s like, I get that those two records came out at a critical time for that generation, but they’ve released 13 studio albums since then! And spoiler alert: some of those records are actually pretty great,” said the teenage daughter. “‘Hurley’? Slept on. ‘Pacific Daydream’? Exactly that, and it’s delightful. Rivers Cuomo is a low-key genius for his songwriting abilities. Plus, I’m 17 years old. I can listen to whatever I want with whoever I want. I can’t believe I was grounded for two weeks because of this and they said I can only date someone who liked pre ‘American Idiot’ Green Day.”
Family therapist Susan Squires, who specializes in parent-child Weezer therapy, says the dynamic between “old” and “new” Weezer is often fueled by misdirected expectations.
“Long before the parents had kids, they could get away with ignoring the last 25 years of Weezer records, but along comes a child who is new to everything and forming their own opinions. What speaks to them won’t be what spoke to mom and dad back in 1994 and it’s hard for the adults to see that,” Squires explained. “Often, parents in these scenarios will say they expect more out of their children, but in reality, what they really mean is they expect more out of Weezer.”
As of press time, Larken, in a show of goodwill, listened to “Raditude” to mend fences and admitted that he “digs the song with Lil Wayne.”