Massachusetts: Partially Cured Model Airplane Glue
It’s why they all talk like that. Go ahead, call up your friend from Boston (they actually group up 40 minutes west of the city) they will confirm this fact, their family is probably eating some right now.
Michigan: Mom’s Spaghetti
Served on a vinyl copy of the “8 Mile” soundtrack. Do NOT ask for second, you will not like where it comes from.
Minnesota: Whatever The Hell “Lutefisk” Is
Seriously, what is that? Nobody has ever been able to answer that question.
Mississippi: Spider Turducken
Mississippi is home to the three deadliest spiders in the United States, so at Thanksgiving, they stuff a brown widow spider into a black widow spider and stuff that into a brown recluse.
Missouri: Varmints
Preferably of the dog-gone variety. Get out your BB gun, you eat what you kill.
Montana: You
Grizzly bears celebrate Thanksgiving too. Do yourself a favor and eat lots of spicy food in advance, bears get bad indigestion.
Nebraska: Anything To Fill The Void
A jar of mayonnaise, a whole can of frosting, whatever, fuck it. This whole holiday is bullshit and we are all assholes for participating.
Nevada: N/A
No one actually lives here, everyone is just passing through or cooling their heels a while.
New Hampshire: Roasted Carrots With A Disproportional Amount Of Influence In Presidential Election
Best with butter, sage, and needlessly inflated media coverage.
New Jersey: Hockey Jersey Weed Comic Book Casserole
They just throw everything Kevin Smith loves into a dish and bake it. People pretend they like it for a little while and then move on.