Hawaii: National Product
There’s tons of great punk in Hawaii, but pop-punk bands are shockingly scarce, considering the tropical, sunny climate. National Product fuses pop-punk with radio rock and metalcore. Much like their state, they defend the genre from so far away we can’t tell if they’re brandishing a weapon or just waving their hands to pretend like they are, which is probably good enough.
Idaho: Fetcher
Fetcher is a recent band that makes great 2000s-era pop-punk, proving once again that Idaho gets its culture and entertainment about 20 years after the fact. They would defend pop-punk with the most modern device available in Idaho, the first-gen iPod.
Illinois: Fall Out Boy
Patty McStump and the Gang (as they liked to be called) is Illinois’ best shot at successfully defending pop-punk from genres that wish it harm. Like Green Day, Fall Out Boy came up in the DIY music scene and found mainstream success. They routinely play small venues, help aspiring pop-punk artists, and proudly rep their hometown music scene. They defend the genre with honor. Unfortunately, that’s the only weapon they brought because Pete had to be all metaphorical about it.
Indiana: The Ataris
The Ataris are a legendary, seminal pop-punk band. They defend pop-punk, no questions asked. Their weapon of choice? Well, Kris Roe will be using his guitar. And a hi-hat stand. And a… I think that was a floor tom I saw go whizzing by. He’d use his gold record like a boomerang but the last time he did that it didn’t come back.
Iowa: Exit, Emergency
Defending both the genre and the Iowa corn that’s needed to make the high-fructose syrup that fuels the genre, Exit, Emergency is on the front lines of the cornfields. They defend pop-punk with tactical scarecrows used to frighten off predators that may try and creep their way into the scene.
Kansas: The Get Up Kids
The Get Up Kids is a classic pop-punk band with undeniable influence, even if that bums them out. They are the unwitting defenders of emo/pop-punk and they consistently defended the genre by trying to subvert it, recording classic albums in the process. They’d use standard-issue pistols, but if they’re at war with someone in a Nightmare Before Christmas hoodie, I’m pretty sure Matt Pryor would prefer to use his bare hands.
Kentucky: A Radio With Guts
Kentucky is known for two things: whiskey and pop-punk. Or at least it will be after the war. A war in which A Radio With Guts will help win for pop-punk. How will they do that? Why, the Kentucky Long Rifle, of course! They support the local scene.
Louisiana: PEARS
Sorry, PEARS fans. I know you probably hate pop-punk, but this is primo DPP content. We need all hands on deck covering our shores when defending pop-punk so PEARS is gonna have to do. Besides, once they destroy pop-punk, it’s only a matter of time before they discover regular punk too. PEARS will be using a paring knife. GET IT?!
Maine: Sparks The Rescue
Keeping the Canadians at bay is just the tip of the northeastern iceberg that Maine brings to the fight for genre preservation. They’d use Canada’s biggest enemy as a weapon: true freedom.
Maryland: 3 Prong Outlet
Look, I get that bands like Good Charlotte, All Time Low, and even Handguns were Maryland bands who got people into pop-punk over several generations. But I’m gonna have to give this one to local Howard County pop-punk outfit 3 Prong Outlet. From 1998 all the way until 2004 (I assume, I moved out of Howard County in 2004), the band absolutely decimated every high school talent show unfortunate enough to get in its path. Despite their relative obscurity, 3PO—oh shit, I just got that—are much more likely than their Hollywood counterparts in GC or ATL to return to Maryland in pop-punk’s greatest time of need. They will defend it with the same weapon all local pop-punk bands use: the Line 6 Spider IV amp.