15. Skeletal Reindeer
What’s more dangerous than a herd of undead reindeer skeletons animated by a mad scientist? The same herd of reindeer skeletons when they don’t have a job anymore. Jack just left them there in Christmas Town when his sleigh got blown up and they’ve terrorized the place ever since. The people there are basically humble figurines, they have no defense against bloodthirsty undead reindeer skeletons. Death toll 103 and counting. Thanks a lot, Jack.
14. Undersea Gal
A woman so nefarious she was exiled from The Black Lagoon, a place littered with fish monsters. You have to be pretty twisted to be the only female of your species and still get kicked out. Well, Halloween Town welcomed her with open arms of course. She is to date responsible for 105 drownings, 17 stabbings, and an internet pornography blackmail scam.
13. Vampire Brothers
They put family first, which is good and Christian, but they feast on the blood of the living to preternaturally sustain their existence, which is pretty mean. These adorable vampires have claimed 124 lives so far, many of them virgins, and they show no sign of stopping.
12. Behemoth
“Oh yeah, giant dude unperturbed by an ax sticking out of his head, sure, let’s let him hang out with our kids!” We can’t believe we need to say this, but just because he’s in a Disney movie doesn’t mean you should let a hulking ghoul who can’t be killed by conventional weapons anywhere near your children. If any of the 135 adorable little heads on his wall could talk, they would tell you the same thing.
11. Withered Winged Demon
Come on, the guy is just pure nightmare fuel. As a rule, we are generally suspicious of any person who uses their immense leathery wings to walk around, and we don’t think it’s too much to ask that you are too.
10. Mayor
Halloween Town’s duplicitous mayor uses his political power to get away with virtually every despicable crime you can imagine. How does this separate him from normal human politicians? It doesn’t, you should be wary of them too. He’s claimed 139 lives just to make himself feel important, which for a Republican mayor is actually just slightly above average.
9. Werewolf
He’s killed at least 143 people going back to the ’70s. His M.O. is cruising leather bars, picking up young men and bludgeoning them in the act of coitus. The killing has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he is a werewolf, he’s just a sick bastard.
8. Zero
Jack’s sleigh isn’t the only thing Zero leads with his nose so bright. In the off-season, He delights in using his glow to captivate curious sailors and lead them to their watery graves. He has directly caused the death of 168 seamen and caused 2 major oil spills.
7. Lock, Shock, and Barrel
Pretty impressive that they cracked the top 10 considering these three little kids are only monsters in the figurative sense. but credit where it’s due. Most of Halloween Town seems to fear these soulless little “darlings” and we have to admit that’s pretty badass. Before they cozied up to Oogie Boogie, Lock Shock and Barrel terrorized the foster care system, disarming victims with the sweet and innocent act before tying them up in the middle of the night and burning their houses to the ground. Eventually, the state started to realize that 170 burned bodies was an awfully high number of “accidents” for these three to be involved in, and the trio decided to cool their heels in Halloween Town.
6. Sally
This goth girl icon and unholy homunculus goes by a few other names over at Quantico. The FBI knows Sally as “The Black Widow of Wichita,” “The Pittsburgh Poisoner,” and “The Cincinnati Soup Siren.” They haven’t connected the dots yet, but when they do they’ll find her kill count to be some 326 unsuspecting souls.
5. Oogie Boogie
Okay, yes, he’s a big baddie, but we still maintain it’s pretty freakin stupid that he’s the only one who freaks you people out in a town populated exclusively by bloodthirsty monsters. Like yeah, he’s a horrifying apparition made of bugs stuffed into burlap, creepy, but then a winged demon saunters by, and we’re supposed to think he’s cute? Doesn’t make any sense. Oogie Boogie has claimed about 340 souls to date. His count would be higher if not for all of the songs, choreography, and set design he puts into each and every kill. He’s a fetishist for the pageantry of it all.
4. Doctor Finklestein
Doctor Finklestein looked at the work of Joseph Mengele and thought to himself “If only he didn’t have so many scruples!” He is perhaps the greatest butcher in the name of science known to man. He once invented a machine that literally spits in God’s eye powered by orphans and mustard gas. He has killed dozens of peoples. That’s not a typo. He has killed dozens of groups of people so large they can each be called “a people.” All that and his doctorate was in 18th-century poetry.
3. Jack Skellington
Even Oogie Boogie got a little shook when Jack Skellington showed up. We know what you’re thinking “How could Jack Skellington be a ruthless murderer when he’s so charming and charismatic?!” Well, so was Ted Bundy. Jack likes to insert himself into his victims’ lives, gaining their trust and isolating them from loved ones before he moves in for the kill. We see him start to do it with Sally in the movie, and he has done it hundreds of times before. His relationships start all storybook and passionate but they always end in a construction barrel full of acid.
2. Devil
Seriously, no one noticed that one of the characters in this so-called children’s movie was fucking SATAN?! The dark lord himself walks among the streets of Halloween Town and you’re all just like “Awww, cute.” Insane. Okay, let’s see the devil’s kill count… I don’t know… how many wars have there been? How many terrible things have happened ever? Cause, you know, that many. Let’s say 20 bazillion.
1. Mummy Boy
That’s right, if you want to see pure evil, look no further than the heart of a child. Don’t let his cheery disposition fool you, Mummy Boy is the most dangerous creature in a world full of monsters. Maybe it’s because he’s also a Cyclops who was mummified as a child, making him technically two monsters. Maybe a traumatic childhood incident stunted his development making him incapable of empathy. Maybe he was just plain born that way, who’s to say, but there are things Mummy Boy has done out of sheer boredom that make Satan himself weep.
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