25. Arzt
The first half of the episode would be painfully boring, with Arzt droning on about high school science and weather patterns. Joe tries to be polite, but it’s a slog. That is until Arzt pulls out some homemade dynamite—and blows everyone up.
24. Tom Friendly
Tom and Joe would hit it off instantly, bonding over fine wine, fresh fruit, and expensive cigars. It’d all be smooth sailing—until midway through the podcast when Jamie pulls the plug after Tom casually drops a reference to his past as a child abductor. “Wait, you did what?”
23. Kate
Perfect guest if you’re into granola-crunching anti-vaxxers. Kate spends most of the episode explaining how to evade the law and how vaccines are part of a plot to control society. Joe, nodding along, tries to link her fugitive status to the government’s involvement in hiding UFOs.
22. The Island Mother
Joe would constantly try to psychoanalyze The Island Mother, asking about her parenting style and whether she thought about going to therapy. She’d just stare at him blankly, and the entire podcast would have an eerie vibe. By the end, Joe would feel he’s just interviewed someone as ancient and unknowable as time itself.
21. Roger Linus
Roger Linus would stumble into the studio, already drunk, and proceed to trash the place, knocking over microphones and smashing Joe’s framed portrait of Lenny Bruce. Joe, watching in disbelief, would finally mutter, “Well, this is a first…”
20. Juliet
Juliet would casually drop misleading OB/GYN facts, like how cat ownership and toxoplasmosis are linked to Down syndrome, watching Joe eat it up. Later, she’d be on The Late Show, chuckling about how easy it is to get a “meathead” to believe anything if you throw in a scientific-sounding word.
19. The Pilot (Seth Norris)
Midway through the podcast, Seth Norris would suddenly start choking on his coffee, collapse, and die right in the studio. Joe, visibly shaken, awkwardly try to keep the episode going, muttering something about “the dangers of turbulence” while Young Jamie scrambles to call an ambulance.
18. Inman
Inman would start cryptically talking about pushing buttons and preventing the end of the world, but before Joe can even respond, Inman launches into a full-blown rant about Zen Buddhism, inner peace, and how enlightenment is the real “button” we should all be pushing.
17. Keamy
Keamy, the epitome of a cold-blooded pyschopath, would sit down and immediately start talking about his brutal missions with chilling indifference. Joe would quickly realizes this isn’t your average guest when Keamy leans in with a smile and says, “You know, Joe, I’ve done worse.” The rest of the episode would be pure, unsettling tension.
16. Daniel Faraday
Joe’s curiosity would get the best of Daniel Faraday. Half the episode would be Daniel nervously stalling, sweating profusely as he dodges Joe’s questions about time travel and the island, clearly regretting ever agreeing to do the podcast.
15. Eloise Hawking
Eloise would throw Joe for a loop. Half the episode would be spent trying to understand quantum physics and fate, leaving Joe spiraling into a rabbit hole of metaphysics. At some point, Joe would probably attempt to link time travel to DMT trips.
14. Jack Shepard
What starts as a surprisingly good time with Jack and Joe swapping stories over whiskey quickly goes off the rails. Jack, finally letting loose, gets a little too into the drinks and starts ranting about destiny, yelling “We have to go back!” at random intervals. Joe, loving the chaos, just keeps pouring, while Jack slurs about how polar bears on the island “weren’t that weird” and tries to FaceTime Hurley.
13. Mr. Eko
Mr. Eko would calmly tell Joe that, to fulfill his destiny, he must “strike down Tom Segura.” Joe would laugh—until he realizes Eko’s dead serious.
12. Locke
Poor John. Back in the chair after leaving the island, pitiful John would hang on every word Joe says about illegal stem cell injections in Mexico that Mel Gibson recommended. Unfortunately, these injections would force John to have both of his legs amputated.
11. Walt
Now we’re talking! Walt would drop some serious knowledge on everything from the occult to animal husbandry, leaving Joe hanging on every word. When Walt finally gets to his kidnapping by The Others, Joe’s convinced it’s all linked to some underground government program
10. Danielle Rousseau
Midway through discussing survival tactics, Rousseau would pull a gun on Joe, calmly saying, “You can never be too careful.”In an attempt to pacify her, Joe would nervously offer her a MeUndies promo code.
9. Sawyer
Sawyer would spend most of the episode poking fun at Joe’s “intellectual guests,” giving him the nickname “Meathead,” and challenging him to arm-wrestling matches, only for Joe to lose and question his fitness routine
8. Anthony Cooper
An absolute train wreck for Joe’s career, but a goldmine for the haters. Anthony would somehow convince Joe to promote some shady teeth-whitening strips, and by the end, Joe’s Twitter is blowing up with, “Why is Joe Rogan giving a platform to a guy who stole his son’s kidney and pushed him out a window?” The apology video—featuring Joe in an ice bath, of course—only makes things worse when he claims, “Honestly, having just one kidney is better for you. My buddy Robert Malone told me.”
7. Richard Alpert
Joe’s mind would be blown when Richard casually mentions he’s been alive for centuries. “Dude, that’s so crazy!” Joe would exclaim, immediately FaceTiming Andrew Huberman to get a scientific breakdown of Richard’s immortality. Richard, however, would coolly explain it’s not science—it’s a curse. The conversation takes a dark turn as Richard explains the burden of eternal life, while Joe tries (and fails) to connect it back to cold plunges and longevity diets.
6. The Man in Black
Joe, thinking The Man in Black knows a lot about wine because of that whole “cork keeping the evil out” analogy, would excitedly bring up his new interest in wine. The Man in Black would just stare at him blankly, then say, “Joe, I was talking about trapping pure evil, not pairing a Pinot Noir.” Joe, undeterred, would ask, “What did you think of Sideways?”
5. Charles Widmore
Charles Widmore would start surprisingly candid, spilling secrets about the island and his power moves with a sly grin. Joe, thinking he’s struck gold, digs deeper. But then Charles leans in, his eyes narrowing, and calmly says, “Keep pushing, and I’ll erase you from existence, Joe.” The rest of the episode? Deleted, and Joe’s left questioning his reality.
4. Ben
Ever wanted to watch Joe Rogan get slowly dismantled by a Machiavellian mastermind who looks like Phil Spector’s long-lost son? Ben’s ominous stares and cryptic phrases (“I can save you from yourself, Joe”) would leave Joe questioning everything—including whether this is still his podcast.
3. Desmond
We all love Desmond, but after a few too many puffs, things get weird. He’d stare at Young Jamie and, in his intense Scottish accent, insist Jamie will “die within the week.” Joe would spend the rest of the podcast asking if time is real and whether Desmond’s lived through this moment before.
2. Christian Shepard
The episode would start predictably, with a back-and-forth about medical issues, as Christian and Joe swap doctor stories and opinions on healthcare. But things take a deeper turn when Christian learns that Joe’s father left him at a young age. “My son doesn’t talk to me either,” Christian would admit. What follows is an unexpectedly emotional moment of therapeutic role-play. Through Christian, Joe finally forgives his father. It’s easily the most bizarre yet touching episode in Rogan’s podcast history.
1. Ethan Rom
Ethan would stare at Joe in complete silence for an uncomfortably long time. Joe, scrambling, would try to break the ice with, “Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like Tom Cruise?” That’s when Ethan leaps across the table and nearly chokes Joe to death. A real edge-of-your-seat podcast.