50. Alex Rousseau
Joe would spend half the episode dropping random names like, “Yeah, Travis Barker is a buddy of mine, and he acknowledges ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ as a pivotal moment for pop punk.” Alex, completely unfazed, would just blink and remind Joe she grew up dodging gunfire in the jungle.
49. Aaron Littleton
Joe would spend the whole episode trying to get some deep, island-born wisdom out of Aaron, only for the kid to keep talking about how he once saw a cool bug. Joe, frustrated, would eventually just nod along, pretending it’s the best “life advice” he’s ever heard.
48. Jin
Unless you’re down for three solid hours on Tae Kwon Do, this one’s a hard pass. Joe tries to ask deeper questions, but every answer somehow loops back to martial arts. Joe’s baffled, but a little impressed.
47. Essam
Joe would ask about Essam’s past, and Essam would nervously shift gears, talking about his love for pottery. Joe, completely buying it, would spend the rest of the episode discussing clay techniques while Essam breathes a sigh of relief, thinking he just dodged a bullet—literally.
46. Radzinsky
Radzinsky would go off on a bizarre tangent about visiting underage sex workers in The Philippines, completely oblivious to how uncomfortable Joe’s getting. Joe would try to steer the conversation back to time travel, but Radzinsky would shrug and say, “You gotta blow off steam somehow, man.”
45. Libby
The episode starts off nice and friendly, but things quickly get weird when Joe inevitably mentions her stay at the mental hospital. Libby would try to keep things light, but Joe would be all in, asking about hallucinations and alternate realities
44. Claire Littleton
Joe would casually bring up his own kids, and Claire would completely lose it, screaming, “At least you know where your kids are, Joe!” After a long pause, Joe would awkwardly suggest she try some adaptogenic muffin.
43. Susan Lloyd
Susan would coolly talk about her legal career, but the mood would shift when Joe asks, “So, did the island mess up your parenting too?” Susan would roll her eyes, sip her coffee, and ask Joe if he’s ever had to win custody of a kid. Joe, realizing he’s outmatched, would awkwardly change the subject to cryotherapy.
42. Dogen
Ah, Dogen. Joe would hang on his every word, fascinated by his wisdom and mystique—until Dogen calmly suggests Joe kill himself for the greater good.
41. Naomi Dorrit
Naomi would start the interview calmly, but halfway through, she’d pull out a knife, cut her arm, and say, “Just making sure it’s real.” Joe, wide-eyed, would mutter, “Yeah, I think you’re good…”
40. Emma & Zach
Interviewing kidnapped kids? Surprisingly, that might be refreshing and uncharted territory for Joe.
39. Bea Klugh
Another member of the Others who stays cryptic. Bea’s episode would end abruptly after Joe asks her a simple question about her time with the Dharma Initiative, and she stonewalls with, “You’re not ready for that information.”
38. Penny Widmore
Penny would cry the entire time, and Joe, trying to help, would offer her a guest spot on “Fight Companion” to “get her mind off things.”
37. Helen Norwood
Helen would spend the entire episode flirting with Joe, casually mentioning that she’s single and has “a thing for bald men.” Joe, blushing, would awkwardly rub his head and say, “Yeah, well…all-natural.”
36. Woo-Jung Paik
Woo-Jung would spend the entire episode silently glaring at Joe, grunting occasionally while Joe desperately tries to fill the awkward silence by talking about his kettlebell workout routine. Every time Joe mentions “functional fitness,” Woo-Jung’s disapproving stare gets more intense.
35. Frank Lapidus
Frank would spend the whole episode lamenting the tragic decline of pilot fashion. “Used to be, a man in a cockpit wore a crisp uniform and a killer mustache,” Frank would say, stroking his own. Joe tries to pivot to island survival, but Frank just keeps ranting about how pilots these days don’t even bother with aviators or leather jackets anymore.
34. Horace Goodspeed
Oops—Joe forgot to do his usual quick Google search and didn’t realize Horace was a total creep. Halfway through the episode, after Horace starts talking about “building a cabin for special purposes,” Joe’s face says it all: Yikes. Expect an awkward wrap-up and a hasty episode deletion.
33. Miles
At first, the conversation’s tense but intriguing, with Joe peppering Miles with questions about ghosts and the afterlife. By the tenth time Joe asks, “So, you actually talk to dead people?” Miles snaps.
32. Sayid
Sayid’s trying to explain the intricacies of torture, bomb-making, and international espionage. Joe, meanwhile, can only say “That’s crazy, man,” about a thousand times, never once absorbing any actual information.
31. Hurley & Dave
Some would call it patronizing, but Joe would fully entertain Hurley’s imaginary friend Dave as a second guest. Listeners would be baffled by the long silences after Joe asks Dave questions about life in the mental hospital. Things would get worse when Joe tries to compare Hurley’s lottery win to Norm Macdonald’s gambling addiction, leaving Hurley visibly offended.
30. Mikhail Bakunin
Joe would be fascinated by Mikhail’s eye patch, spending half the episode discussing “eye patch fashion” and asking if it’s functional or just for style. Mikhail, deadpan, would respond, “It’s functional… but I do make it look good.”
29. Goodwin
Joe would pretend to be Goodwin’s friend during the podcast, but a week later, Joe would pull a classic Rogan move at The Comedy Mothership—calling out Goodwin for his false identity in front of a live audience, just like he did with Carlos Mencia.
28. Isabella
Isabella would recount her tragic death with a calm serenity that unnerves Joe. When he tries to ask about Richard’s immortality, she’d cut him off with, “You think time matters when you’ve been dead for centuries?”
27. Ana Lucia Cortez
Ana Lucia would bring some serious “Blue Lives Matter” devil’s advocate energy, making this episode uncomfortable real fast. Joe tries to steer the conversation toward personal growth and jiu-jitsu, but it keeps circling back to her aggressive policing style.
26. Mr. Kwon
Joe and Mr. Kwon would attempt a heartfelt conversation about fishing through Google Translate, but the whole thing would get derailed every time Mr. Kwon farted loudly.