29. “Little Shop of Horrors” (1986)
I experimented with adding a fun campy musical component to my ritualistic murders a few years ago but I just don’t have the pipes for it.
28. “Muppets Haunted Mansion” (2021)
These kids weren’t brought up on The Muppets like I was, and when I showed them the ‘70s Muppet movie they were kinda bored. Might as well squeeze in one last try before the demons force me to do unspeakable things.
27. “The Nightmare Before Christmas” (1993)
Belinda, our youngest, has never seen this Tim Burton holiday classic. There are a lot of things Belinda will never do, but this one I can take care of.
26. “Halloweentown” (1998)
If the fact that the Grandma turns out to be a witch surprises them, wait till they get a load of me once I shed this mask of sanity and show them my glorious becoming!
25. “Under Wraps” (2021)
I certainly don’t want the kids growing up to be “Disney adults,” but since I’m about to see to it they never grow up at all I suppose there’s no harm in letting them enjoy this mediocre fair.
24. “Arachnophobia” (1990)
The kids are terrified of spiders, which I’ve always found a bit silly. Maybe throwing on this old horror comedy will help them face this irrational fear head-on before I show them what real fear looks like. Spoiler: it’s their stepdad with an axe.
23. “Harry Potter” (2001)
Any film from this franchise would be a big hit with the fam, but I have to consider JK Rowling’s recent transphobic turn. Do I really want to have to engage the kids in a dialogue about separating the art from the artist when I’m just going to murder them in 2 hours? Seems like a waste of time.
22. “Monsters, Inc.” (2001)
This movie goes to show that sometimes what looks like a monster is actually friendly and nice when you get to know them. Then, after the movie, I get to show them that the opposite can be true as well! Life lessons all over the damn place.
21. “The Halloween Tree” (1993)
This one is kind of a spooky/cozy lost gem, very under the radar, and a real treat for a group of people whose lives are about to be tragically cut short. Or should I say chopped short? Little axe murder humor for ya.