29. Skin-walker
The Navajo are cagey when it comes to talking about these shape-shifting witches, claiming the matter doesn’t need to be discussed with outsiders. So you know they’re a bunch of hotties.
28. Beast of Bray Road
He’s basically a Bigfoot with the head of a wolf and glowing red eyes. That’s. The. Dream. He is reported to be both bipedal and quadrupedal, which is handy because we’ve all been with partners who only do doggy style and it gets boring.
27. Yamakachi
As someone who experienced a strong sexual awakening watching “Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets,” this giant Japanese snake is a 10 out of 10 must-bang for me.
26. Flatwoods Monster
What’s sexier than an extraterrestrial cryptid? An extraterrestrial cryptid with fashion sense! With long claw-like tendrils, a lower body resembling a pleated skirt, and a hat shaped like an ace of spades, The Flatwoods monster knows what it’s got and how to make it pop! This alien might be the sharpest dresser in West Virginia!
25. Beast of Gevaudan
A giant flying dog is supposedly responsible for 113 deaths, and if that wasn’t sexy enough, he’s French! Swoon.
24. Grafton Monster
He’s described as a large polar bear with no discernible head, which is super convenient. As we all know, the head is the biggest deterrent when it comes to having sex with a polar bear.
23. Beast of Bodmin Moor
I’ve been trying to bang the Beast of Bodmin for ages, but every time I go on a date with someone who describes themselves as a “phantom wild cat” in their profile it turns out to be some meth head that ends up stealing my catalytic converter.
22. Ningen
Allegedly the Ningen is a whale with human-like legs and an expressive human-like face. Sounds like a cutie, but rumors of this guy only surfaced online in the early aughts so I have my doubts. I wasted some prime years trying to bed a Slenderman and I don’t want to get burned again.
21. Mapinguari
A cyclops-Bigfoot that is said to protect the Peruvian forests. He has a reputation for twisting off human heads and devouring them, but probably only if you litter. I think environmentalism is sexy.