The Black Flag “Bars” logo is one of the most common tattoos you will see on punks and hardcore kids of all ages. But tattooers don’t just hand them up to anyone. You have to know the history of the Raymond Pettibon-designed logo and pass a standardized test before any licensed artist will give you the tattoo. There are currently tattooers serving life sentences in maximum security prisons for tattooing the Bars on someone before they passed the rigorous test.
Since we hate the prison industrial complex we want to make this easy for everyone. Here are the 15 Black Flag songs you need to know before you get their logo tattooed on your shoulder. You don’t have to like the songs, you just have to pretend you do. That’s what everyone else does.
“My War”
The titular song from Black Flag’s 1984 offering and it’s literally the only song you need to know from this album. You could ask a member of the band “Can you name any other songs from ‘My War?'” and they would be like “Of course we can, that’s a stupid question.” Then they would pretend to get a phone call and be like “Sorry, I gotta take this. I think my wife just exploded.”
“TV Party”
We live in hell, and that means there is a distinct chance that the current version of Black Flag re-records this track as a song called “TikTok Party.” If that happens I’m going to call 911 and have Mike V arrested for murder. Anyway, the EP version of “TV Party” is slightly better. If someone says otherwise you can also remind them a third version was recorded for the “Repo Man” soundtrack and then you can kiss.
“Police Story”
If want to score extra points with the oldest guy in the room you just casually say “Yeah, the Dez version of ‘Police Story’ is probably my favorite.” And the old guy will cross his arms and give you a knowing nod. If he tries to follow up with any other questions just say “Yeah most of my favorite stuff is pre-Henry” over and over again.
“Nervous Breakdown”
People say that men often don’t talk about their feelings. But that doesn’t apply to this song, Keith Morris is being very direct about his mental health and he’s very ahead of his time. A lot of macho hardcore guys would never admit they are going berserk. Play this song for your therapist next time you feel a little burnt out at your graphic design job. (And yes we know Greg Ginn wrote the lyrics to the song.)
“Rise Above”
This is prime Rollins firing on all cylinders. He hadn’t started growing his hair out yet, his shorts were still a somewhat respectable length, and most of the songs he sang on clocked in at under three minutes. Sometimes it’s easy to clown on Rollins, then you hear this song and remember why so many people make liking Black Flag a good portion of their personality.
“No Values”
If you are going to get this logo tattooed then you are going to need to know at least one song from every one of the people they tried to make their lead singer back when the band was first starting. This is Ron Reyes at his finest, three decades later he would reunite with Black Flag and be booted out of the band in the middle of a show in Australia by Mike Vallely. Ten years later it’s still very weird, just waiting for Mike V to get booted mid-show by a Boston Dynamics robot or something.
“Gimme Gimme Gimme”
Another song with multiple versions, just go ahead and pick which vocalist you like best. But please know this; if you say “Gimme gimme gimme one of those Blag Flag tattoos” to someone at a tattoo shop they will be forced to break all your toes with a hammer. And when we say “break your toes” we actually mean they have to hammer your toes until the bones are ground down to dust. We don’t make the rules.
“Six Pack”
Everyone loves a song about drinking and getting wasted. But is this song a celebration of being a drunk, or is it a satirical takedown of drinking culture? These are questions you should not be asking. Just smile and nod when listening. You aren’t here to be the world’s premiere Black Flag scholar, you’re just trying to get a dumb tattoo.
“Clocked In”
This is one of the better songs about hating your job. Every punk band needs their “I hate my fucking job” anthem and this is Black Flag really laying it on thick. Anyone that needs to use a time clock to punch into work should have this song playing on repeat in their head until one day they go into their boss’s office and beat the crap out of him in front of everyone.
“Depression”
Again we have Black Flag being ahead of their time in talking about mental health issues. 40 years after this song was released we still have men who can’t admit they are struggling. We do think Black Flag could have been a bit more direct in their lyrics about how to find a therapist because it’s not as easy as you think. The last therapist I had called me a “dumb pig” and told me to “bite the propeller of a moving speed boat.” Kind of fucked up.
“White Minority”
If you want to find out if your friend is a secret racist this is the song for you. Play it in your car and if your friend hits the “White pride” lyric with a little too much gusto then you know they are a piece of crap. Also, it’s shocking this song has been co-opted by the Right and taken at face value.
“Revenge”
We don’t actually know what they mean when they say “I got a gun on my back” in the opening line of this song. Like someone has a gun pressed against your back? Are you carrying a rifle around like some second-amendment warrior trying to prove a point? Either way, songs about revenge are always solid.
“American Waste”
By this time you have probably noticed a pattern. There sure are a lot of pre-Henry Black Flag songs on this list, and you know what? That’s because Black Flag’s early stuff was better. They basically invented the entire concept of “getting worse with age” which was perfected by bands like Green Day and Offspring. You won’t find any six-minute songs or spoken word entries on this list. Just punk songs about being a total piece of crap.
“Jealous Again”
Initially the “Jealous Again” EP was meant to be Black Flag’s first full-length but Keith Morris abruptly quit the band and this started the revolving door of singers. Just think, if you were in Hermosa Beach in 1980 and you knew the lyrics to a few Black Flag songs you could have been the person fronting this band. Henry Rollins would have never come to L.A., maybe he would have climbed the ranks at Häagen-Dazs and been the CEO by now. You basically ruined his life. That is why you need to know this song today.
“Fix Me”
This is it, the last song you need to know before you can finally get your tattoo. Congratulations, now you can pass yourself off as a real Black Flag fan. If someone tries to talk about how the songs on “Loose Nut” and “Family Man” are underrated just ignore them. They are liars or they suffered some sort of head injury. Go forth, claim your tattoo, you’ve earned it.
Go pick up our latest shirt. It’s a rip-off of the Black Flag bars, nobody has ever done that: