A panicked Mauro Ranallo spent his holiday break feverishly memorizing lyrics from Run The Jewels new album 3 to force unnaturally into his commentary, according to his disappointed family.
Ranallo takes great pride in staying up-to-date on the hip-hop references he sprinkles randomly into matches on Smackdown Live. The release of a new album from a legendary group like Run The Jewels brings everything else in Ranallo’s life to a halt.
“This is Killer Mike and El-P we’re talking about. No, I didn’t have time to celebrate Christmas this year. Like Big Sean says: fuck a vaca I feel better at work,” Ranallo said while sending his children away so he could continue to dissect lyrics on Rap Genius.
When not on the road filming Smackdown Live Ranallo has been locked in his home office around the clock, taking meticulous notes on new releases from Run The Jewels, 21 Savage, and Migos.
“You have to study to stay ahead,” said Ranallo as he downed another shot of espresso. “And just like 2 Chainz, I went to the school of hard knocks. I took night classes.”
Ranallo has come under criticism from a certain sect of the WWE fanbase for forcing pop culture references into moments where they may not belong.
“I’ve been down so long it looks like up to me,” said Ranallo, “You know, like the Drake song. What was the question? Right, yes, my Run The Jewels references will be ready to step into the spotlight, woo on Smackdown Live this week.”
Ranallo believes that the hip-hop lyrics he uses in his commentary help to separate himself from the pack and endear him to the WWE fanbase.
“I could copy Michael Cole and say ‘John Cena is rolling’ every match, but I’d rather tell you that John Cena grew up in the streets without no heart, raindrops, drop tops, MOMMA MIA!”