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Vegan Savagely Stomps Bug to Death

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local vegan Sean Paige has come under a lot of scrutiny by the vegan community after savagely and maliciously stomping a bug to death.

The incident occurred late Sunday afternoon as Paige and friends were heading to dinner.

“Sean just started to suddenly freak out. Honestly, I thought he was having back spasms, but he kept yelling, ‘Is it on me? Is it on me?’,” long time friend Kate Flynn said. “Then we realized a bug had landed on his sweater and that was what threw him into a murderous rage like I have never seen.”

Witnesses had a hard time recalling the brutal scene that soon unfolded in front of their eyes.

Paige’s room mate Todd Martinez told The Hard Times what happened next while recovering at his home. “So he knocks this bug off his sweater, it was a stink bug or a potato bug or something, and he rips off one of his loafers and starts swinging it like a hammer – just annihilating this beautiful part of nature. The entire time he was yelling like a maniac, ‘Let this be a lesson to you and your other stupid ugly fucking bug friends. Go back to hell where you came from you demon spawn of satan.’ It was awful.”

Friends have said this is not the first time Paige has had a violent outburst. On a recent camping trip, it was reported Paige had killed two mosquitoes that entered his tent.

Related: Crust Punk Disgusted by Local Dumpster’s Lack of Vegan Options

“Instead of just undoing the zipper and shooing them out of there peacefully, he took their lives in brutal and unnecessary fashion. It’s unacceptable,” Flynn, who also attended the camping trip, said.

When asked for comment, Paige seem unapologetic. “They call it murder, I call it self defense. In that moment, it was either me or the bug, and I will be deep in my cold fucking grave before I let an insect get the best of me.”

As of press time, no charges have been filed against Paige.

Photo  by Dennis Skley.

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