BUFFALO, N.Y. — Twin toddlers Gabriel and Mary Windham were accused this morning of abandoning their very attractive mother alone in her car, according to rescue workers currently trying to score a date.
Veronica Windham, ravishing at 26 years old, said the two-year-old twins asked to stop at a convenience store to buy some Goldfish crackers.
“We were driving down the road, playing my new demo at full blast,” said Ms. Windham, an aspiring pop singer. “Mary asked if we could get some snacks or something, and I didn’t see the harm. But the next thing I know, police officers and firemen are rushing over to my car asking if I am free next Saturday.”
First responders, who were quick to note Ms. Windham’s stunning beauty, immediately sprung into action.
“At approximately 8 a.m., I noticed Ms. Windham alone in her car. After a quick assessment, I knew it was my duty to try to lock her down for a date this weekend,” said Officer Nathan Wells. “I was just blown away by her beauty. Hubba, hubba! I couldn’t believe anyone would leave a woman this hot alone in a car.”
Four other Buffalo police units, as well as one fire and two ambulance units, provided immediate backup to help comfort the attractive mother. Soon after the arrival of the entire Buffalo Bisons minor league baseball team, the twins emerged with their crackers.
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“Everyone hates cops these days, so I figured I had a better chance with her,” said local firefighter Terry Donahue. “I asked if she wanted a ride in the truck, but her stupid kids came back and ruined it. They totally blew up my chances.”
With the parking lot now full of emergency personnel and professional athletes, all lined up to offer Ms. Windham a single rose and their endless devotion one-by-one, the toddlers quietly re-entered their car seats and waited for the scene to die down.
“We go into stores by ourselves all the time. Mom doesn’t mind,” said Gabriel. “Of course, every time we do, we see a huge group of guys trying to date her, but mom says that’s the kind of stuff that happens when you’re really good looking.”
While Ms. Windham refused to file criminal charges against her children for abandoning her, she did not rule out a lawsuit on the advice of an attorney she met at the scene.
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Article by Kip Doyle @the_clawhold.