Sean Fallon
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WASHINGTON — The White House announced the debut of a non-woke version of Jesus Christ called John America, confirmed sources.…
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Charles Bill
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PHOENIX, Ariz. — A somber Erika Kirk took a quiet, personal moment to mourn her late husband with only six…
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Brian Wishart
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WASHINGTON — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revised the recommended amount of cigarettes children should smoke daily from zero to no…
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Violet Cowdin
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BOSTON — Local punk hibachi chef Joey “Skunk” Robins reportedly hucks cigarette butts into the mouths of customers as opposed…
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Ben Friedman
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NEW YORK — “The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon shocked the comedy world after revealing he has voluntarily joined ICE…
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Jamie Godin
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PLANO, Texas — Local veteran and longtime Fox News viewer Ronald Merchant spent most of Tuesday afternoon convinced he was…
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Ben Friedman
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MINNEAPOLIS — Researchers at the University of Minnesota released the results of a groundbreaking animal behavioral study, finding that a…
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Tim Sheard
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WASHINGTON — Citizens across the nation were surprised to learn that the long-promised slow descent into fascism has rapidly accelerated…
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Ryan Dondero
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LOS ANGELES — Local tourist Daniela Harper was stunned to discover her Airbnb checkout instructions included what most would call…
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Tim Graham
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UPPER MARLBORO, Md. — Wayne and Heidi Stevens intend to wait out the US’ burgeoning authoritarian regime by consuming an…
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