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Punk Pledges $20,000 per Month to The Hard Times Patreon After Randomly Guessing Valid Credit Card Number

BOSTON — Local punk Patricia “Peg Leg” Sullivan made a massive pledge of $20,000 per month to the recently launched Hard Times Patreon after randomly guessing a valid credit card number, confirmed Hard Times administrators hoping fraud alerts aren’t triggered.

“I woke up pretty hungover and the first thing I saw on my phone was that The Hard Times was launching a Patreon and possibly going out of business if they didn’t get any help. I’m pretty broke because my parents cut me off, but I know that credit cards usually have the same first four digits for each card, so after that, it’s just a guessing game,” said Sullivan. “It only took me about 45 minutes to finally get a number combination that worked. I really wanted to support them in the biggest way possible so I pledged $20,000 recurring, and I hope that helps. The internet wouldn’t be as fun without them.”

Friends of Sullivan were moved by her support and quickly found ways to also help.

“I’m bad with numbers, so I pledged money the old-fashioned way and stole my Dad’s credit card and signed up for the $20 a month tier,” said Rory Gutman. “My roommate Luke immediately went down to Mass General to sell his plasma and he plans on giving that cash to The Hard Times as well. Not all the money though, he’s got to buy cigarettes and beer for the house first, then whatever money is left over The Hard Times can have.”

A representative for Mastercard hopes more people will pledge money to The Hard Times using traditional payment methods.

“It’s nice to see so many people support an independent comedy project in 2024, but please do it using money in your own bank account. I don’t want to have to sit on the phone with some Boomer explaining that they need to cancel their card,” said customer service rep Larry Anders. “It takes up my entire day, and without fail it turns into a rant about Biden’s immigration policy. So yes, support The Hard Times, but do it legally, that way they can actually rely on the money each month.”