RALEIGH, N.C. — Local punk Tommy Whitehead nearly caught an indecent exposure rap but was saved by a solitary, barely intact thread of his jeans,…
PHILADELPHIA – Local man Travis Burnett revealed to his roommates this week that, without immediate intervention and deal making, he is going to reach his…
WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate beloved DIY venue Sugar House,…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — An outdoor metal show unexpectedly came to a complete stop after the band’s bass player Todd Michaels became distracted by a…
NEW YORK — Local stoner Remy Clayton finally decided on the perfect living location within Roku City after an hour or so of staring, hungry…
BRICK TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Local punk Andy Chambers was seen shaking his head in frustration after a Costco employee marked his receipt without so much…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new sex doll developed by Cambridge Robotics Lab is the first of its kind to be so lifelike that it will…
CONCORD, N.H. — Local grunge revival band Lost Junk announced that they inked an unofficial deal to give a nearby Goodwill distribution rights to all…
PORTLAND, Ore. — An undercover federal agent implanted in the nationwide food-sharing collective Food Not Bombs is finally making strides to learn the correct way…
PHILADELPHIA– A local dive bar is making sure all customers are made aware of their payment policy with a helpful “Cash Only” sign handwritten on…
CHESTERFIELD, Mich. — Local siblings recently came to the awkward conclusion that one of them needs to tell their mom fisting means something very different…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Senior Software Engineer Taylor Masters added multiple patches to his Patagonia vest in hopes of blending in at a DIY punk show…
NEW YORK — Local man Roland Peachneck was reportedly shocked and disappointed that his “loser” roommates had nothing better to do on a Saturday night…
NEW YORK — Local man Brian Crowley issued a press release begging anyone he encounters to please stop recommending television shows for him to watch…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local moron Griff Bradshaw made frequent frustrated attempts to gain entry to the venue bathroom you were, unity recently, peacefully defecating in,…