PUEBLO, Colo. – Local downer Henry Bergen recently stopped going through the motions of pretending to wash his hands after using the bathroom, according to…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local delinquent Christine Pritchard surprised friends and family when she somehow obtained a prescription for cigarettes, according to impressed fellow small-time grifters.…
DENVER — Colorado Judge Sarah Wallace ruled on Saturday that former President Donald Trump did in fact incite the January 6th insurrection, but can run…
RICHMOND, Va. — Diehard moderate Harold Quigley caused a stir in both the conspiracy theorist and scientist communities with his centrist viewpoint that the moon…
GLENOLDEN, Pa. — Engineers and chemists alike curbed their amazement Wednesday when La Salle University research scientist Steve di Bastino of Delaware County announced the…
NEW YORK — Embattled Republican congressman George Santos shocked constituents and detractors alike when it was revealed he actually pays for OnlyFans content. “When I…
RICHMOND, Va. — Avid punk and reluctant father, John Husk Sr., looked stunningly glowing during his son’s first-ever court appearance yesterday for assaulting three officers,…
GAZA CITY — Teen fandom magazine Tiger Beat sent novice 16-year-old journalist Palmer Fredricks to Gaza for live reporting, confirmed sources who didn’t know the…
WOODSIDE, Calif. — A confused and disoriented President Joe Biden made a stirring declaration to Chinese Premier Xi Jinping insisting he tear down the Great…
WASHINGTON — A new Pew Research study revealed that an overwhelming majority of NPR listeners are dogs whose owners left the radio on while out…
WASHINGTON — Senator Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma was left in critical condition this morning after being confronted and brutally beaten by Scabby the giant inflatable…
TORONTO — Iconic filmmaker and leading architect of the “body horror” genre David Cronenberg completed a new feature-length screenplay earlier this week after seeing a…
When I was a kid, skate videos made being a pro skateboarder look like a glamorous life filled with never-ending gas station snacks, drinking without…
The Supreme Court adopted a code of conduct for the first time in its storied existence. The nine justices all agreed to voluntarily comply with…
STAUNTON, Va. — Local board members at Staunton’s Green Hills of Grace Church are vocally championing J.K. Rowling, despite enforcing a household ban on Harry…