ANOKA, Minn. — A conservative anti-abortion picketer was confused after being unable to convert a single person to his cause, even after picketing at a…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Lifelong Republican voter Travis Andrews remains puzzled after not being able to determine if the Nazi imagery featured in a new ad…
AUSTIN, Texas — J.D. Vance sat down for a three-hour interview with popular podcaster Joe Rogan to let potential voters know he’s just a completely…
TUCSON — Local Man Steven Barnes threw away the progress of nine full years of therapy to pursue a brief shot at sweet revenge against…
BUTLER, Penn. – Billionaire Elon Musk unveiled an offer of $1 million to anyone willing to sign his birthday card, sources close to the matter…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local mother Martha Browning grew concerned for her crust punk son after hearing rumors circulating that some trick-or-treaters may find candy mixed…
MT. POCONO, Penn. — Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst recently crashed a Halloween campout and borrowed a bit of his own poetry to launch into…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local werewolf Steve Callahan was under fire today after an unexpected transformation left his wolf form trapped in a hot car, concerned…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local conservative man and general douchebag Chet Dyker was spotted at a Halloween party this past weekend telling women dressed as sexy…
CINCINNATI — Ophelia Kingsley, an esteemed thereminist who has been a featured guest player with the London Symphony, Orchestre de Paris, and the Los Angeles…
Yikes! Is your relationship on the rocks — or fully over — right when you were supposed to be dressing up for Halloween to show…
Feel Old Yet? The Demon Goat Guy on the Cover of Venom’s “Black Metal” Just Had His 4,078th Birthday
Feel Old Yet? The Demon Goat Guy on the Cover of Venom’s “Black Metal” Just Had His 4,078th Birthday
Who’s got two horns, helped to spearhead the first wave (and only true wave, for my money) of black metal and just hit the big…
WASHINGTON — The minds behind the much-reviled Project 2025 announced new plans to capture ecological superhero Captain Planet and his trusty Planeteers in order to…
Do you have a mass of cells in your reproductive organs that you need to stop from replicating but live in a state that withholds…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local punk Roxy Molloy reportedly invited guests to bob for cigarettes at her annual Halloween party at DIY venue The Sharp,…