TORONTO — Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies responded to U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs on their country by threatening to release another single, horrified…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Mick Lovell attempted to weave the phrase “late-stage capitalism” into casual conversation, hoping it would make his friends respect his…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corbin Stefanski’s weakening urine stream is severely limiting his ability to clean his toilet, according to several sources familiar with…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump made the decision to replace the country’s highest military decoration for valor in action with the grand prize from ‘90s…
GLENS FALLS, N.Y. — A salesman for music gear retailer Sweetwater appeared at the funeral for Richie Andrews, a customer who purchased an overdrive pedal…
LONG BRANCH, N.J. — President Trump ordered a federal raid of the dreams and visions of Wendy, the female character from “Born to Run,” in…
SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Noted polyamorous couple Zheff Macguire and Morgy Clementine were spotted frantically rearranging their Funko Pop collection ahead of their visiting third,…
SEATTLE — A casual dinner amongst old friends at The Prissy Duck took a turn Friday night when apparent nouveau riche Luke Moore encouraged everyone…
SAN DIEGO — A rare koala discovered at the San Diego Zoo defied its species’ reputation for being sedentary and lethargic and became an uncontrollable…
SAN FRANCISCO — Free online encyclopedia Wikipedia known for its convenience, comprehensiveness, depth, and reliability on every subject known to man has mustered the nerve…
LAS VEGAS — The promoters for the buzzworthy music festival The Good Old Days are extremely excited for the amazing lineup to blow the minds…
SEATTLE — Punk web designer Priscilla Prange published a new Chrome extension that stops Google from asking if you want to kill yourself every time…
CHATSWORTH, Calif. — Lucky Luke’s Powersports, Southern California’s number one motorcycle dealership, announced a new package that includes huge savings on a casket with each…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 42-year-old Mitch Hensley, a self-proclaimed supporter of the Portland scene, is concerned that he has already given the best excuses he…
BALTIMORE — Local mother and lifelong punk Sherri Dalton reportedly brought her 11-year-old son to a DIY concert this weekend to shop for new clothes,…