CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local conservative Bill Wallace announced he’s ramped up his fight against the liberal agenda by spending $4,000 a month to lease his…
LOS ANGELES — Local advocacy group the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign issued a chilling new public service announcement claiming overuse of marijuana could cause…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local cool guy Jared Bellweather left his house wearing two leather jackets in an attempt to double-up on his self-perceived hip appearance,…
CHICAGO – Local man Chad Hester finally made the decision to introduce his “you don’t know what cold weather is” friend to his “this ain’t…
HOUSTON — Local 68-year-old Harry Wilson is reportedly about to fire off another sternly worded email to [email protected] to complain about the store’s lackluster service,…
CREST HILL, Ill. — Newly convicted felon Silas Deane Highway is reportedly looking forward to his 6-8 year prison sentence because he’s always dreamed of…
HARTFORD, Conn. – Goodwill shopper Davis Canal suffered minor injuries during an unprovoked attack by a mannequin modeling the once-popular alpha male apparel line Ed…
CHICAGO — Local stoner Zach Murray, who recently purchased a vinyl glow-in-the-dark copy of The Mars Volta’s sophomore album “Frances the Mute,” is reportedly unaware…
NEW YORK — An alarming scientific study has discovered that the absolute worst drivers in the US are almost exclusively from whichever state or states…
WASHINGTON —The Department of Education announced that next year’s FAFSA application will be simplified to only ask students “Do you ski?” after a tumultuous rollout…
QUINCY, Mass. — Members of the Massachusetts Teachers Association are reportedly making plans to launch an all-out attack on Gaza in order to get some…
LOWELL, Mass. — Mercy High School punk Theo “Gerbil” Barnes unwittingly eschewed prom tradition when he pinned a corsage through his date Julee Santoro’s nose…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A recent study from Stanford University concluded that millennials have eaten enough Pop-Tarts and Bagel Bites to completely preserve their bodies…
MADISON, Wis. — The University of Wisconsin’s Center for Climatic Research released a damning report suggesting that almost 70 percent of all carbon emissions are…
Throughout its original 8 Season run, the beloved sitcom “Full House” was a reliable source of life advice, the majority of which came from head…