LONDON – Scott Devine and Ian Martin Allison wowed bass players across the globe with their new masterclass on how to shove a refrigerator-sized Ampeg…
LOS ANGELES — Popular clothing manufacturer JNCO announced a steep drop in their stock price following the sudden announcement that the 2025 addition of Sick…
WASHINGTON — House minority leader and top Democrat Hakeem Jeffries asked Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu if they are “still friends” following Donald Trump’s presidential…
HORNERSTOWN, N.J. — Serial killer and torture pioneer Jigsaw was reportedly left horrified today after his unwilling Thanksgiving guests quickly devoured a massive turducken he…
Luxury car manufacturer Jaguar unveiled a new look in hopes of expanding their appeal to the tiny percentage of people who identify as gender-fluid Gen…
OCEANSIDE, Calif. — As I Lay Dying frontman, and convicted felon, Tim Lambesis was caught on a home video having a meltdown after realizing the…
WASHINGTON — America’s longstanding symbol of freedom, the bald eagle, was replaced by the Costco rotisserie chicken as the official national bird, after a swift…
BALTIMORE — Local venue the Rusty Nut is reported to be heated by a single eight-outlet power strip, confirmed several sources with burn marks on…
CINCINNATI — Bolt Thrower fan Harold Rodriguez was disappointed in the reaction to his custom playlist by fellow members of his Warhammer 40K meetup, sources…
MILWAUKEE — Local punk Noah Vickens harbored resentment against people who don’t bat an eye at his appearance, confirmed sources who shrugged their shoulders as…
JERUSALEM — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly forced his weekly game night attendees to play Crimes Against Humanity for the twelfth consecutive Saturday, despite…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the tech giant would begin harvesting beloved Saturday morning cartoon icon Captain Planet for rare minerals…
I knew going into the office kitchenette was a mistake. I foolishly exchanged pleasantries with someone from accounting, I think his name is Harold but…
ATLANTA — Hooters officials announced a new promotion for their chain of nearly 500 restaurants nationwide to offer free food on Sundays to fathers who…
MINNEAPOLIS — Registered sex offender Tim Finhook was court-mandated to go door to door in an effort to inform neighbors that he’s a part of…