TUCSON, Ariz. — A local ICE agent’s wife Karen Wilkins is really hoping her own family gets torn apart, after years of watching her husband…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Concertgoer Seth Mosley had no choice but to chew off his own foot after it got stuck to the floor in a…
FRANKFORT, Ky. — Oft-succumbing and soon-dying United States senator Mitch McConnell revealed his post-political plans of destroying all the houses Jimmy Carter built during his…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — MAGA devotees united in shock and outrage in protests across the country after local woman Helen Graves made a valid point regarding…
LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit reality dating show “Love Island” announced a punk spin-off titled “Promiscuous Warehouse,” confirmed sources. “Mario Lopez’s assistant…
AMHERST, Mass. — Serial public masturbator Aaron Goddard received an unexpected education in progressive politics when he wandered into a zine library, according to the…
CHICAGO — Local baseball fans and metalheads discovered that they shared an affinity to drink in parking lots, while one group was pregaming for death…
MANZANITA, Ore. — Local couple Jon and Kelsey Hangman recently became the parents of a child who somehow was born without any of their combined…
AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the jangle pop quartet Pine Box announced the addition of a second bassist, known mononymously as Waffles, to keep their…
SAN FRANCISCO — Developers behind the encrypted messaging app Signal updated their terms of service to forbid users from organizing and executing targeted military strikes,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A routine lunch break turned into an unexpected battle of past glory Tuesday afternoon when Jake “Used to Skate” Piper and Mark…
ICE Agent Ordered to Take Mandatory Callousness Training After Giving Water to Imprisoned Immigrants
ICE Agent Ordered to Take Mandatory Callousness Training After Giving Water to Imprisoned Immigrants
CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas — ICE officer Brendan Williams was disciplined and forced to undergo mandatory callousness training after being caught giving water to a detained…
WASHINGTON — Trump brothers Don Jr. and Eric were witnessed throwing tantrums in the White House halls, insisting their father arrange a “totally awesome” slumber…
WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance once again shared his belief that Americans need to be having more babies, though sources say it’s become increasingly…
LEBANON, Kan. — The Trump administration announced that the Department of Education has been wholly replaced by a giant iPad playing a constant stream of…