SALEM, Mass. — Your friend Jared Bunter finally reached out today to let you know about his band’s upcoming gig despite six months of radio…
LA CROSSE, Wis. — Local Democrat Kevin Forrester automatically responded “STOP” to a friend’s genuine request for financial help after months of conditioning, sources report.…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump marked Juneteenth, the federal holiday created in 2021 commemorating the end of slavery in the United States, with a call…
WASHINGTON — Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem revealed that she shot a department watchdog in the face simply because she didn’t like them, Congressional…
ITHACA, N.Y. — Elite private institution Bournestown University released a new campus brochure today touting the diversity of the college’s nearby prison, sources confirmed. “Here…
WASHINGTON — The United States Supreme Court reportedly began adding “no worries if not” at the end of all rulings President Donald Trump could potentially…
NEW YORK — President Donald Trump’s sons Eric and Don Jr. announced a new Trump Mobile cellular phone service that will feature a new phone…
JAMESTOWN, N.Y. — Local punk prodigy Marriott Dubois puked onstage during his preschool recital, solidifying his arrival in the local scene, confirmed sources who were…
Summer is almost here. That means hopping in your car and hitting the open road with your best friends and family. But before you plan…
Target Attempts to Win Back LGBTQ+ Community by Announcing Company Mascot Bullseye is a Power Bottom
Target Attempts to Win Back LGBTQ+ Community by Announcing Company Mascot Bullseye is a Power Bottom
MINNEAPOLIS — Retail giant Target announced a last ditch effort to win back support from the LGBTQ+ community by revealing their beloved mascot Bullseye is…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local cash-strapped punk father Eric Mallory was left with no other choice but to boil and eat the multicolored pasta necklace his…
WASHINGTON — President Trump kicked off his birthday parade today with a 21-gun salute fired into a crowd of ‘No Kings’ protestors, sources confirmed. “The…
YAPHANK, N.Y. — Local Donald Trump supporter Andy Damiano made something of a stir on his block after erecting a modified version of Old Glory…
PITTSBURGH — A punk-themed YouTube show called “Huff Ones” where guests inhale volatile substances is gaining popularity despite warnings from health officials, according to sources.…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Meta announced a new partnership this week with UPS to physically mail high-gloss, full-color photographs of Adolf Hitler directly to the…