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Only Eight People Have 50% Of The World’s Wealth, But I Might Be One Of Those Eight Someday So I Don’t Think We Should Do Anything About It

Wealth distribution across the world is highly unequal and the fact that only eight people hold on to 50% of the world’s money is shocking. Your knee-jerk reaction may be that we have to do something to balance the scales, but then again, one day I might be one of those eight people so let’s just leave things as they are, shall we?

Sure the odds are 8 in about 7.6 billion but you never know! Genetics, upbringing, socioeconomic status, and location all make it so you barely even have a chance to be even in the top 10% of wealthiest people.

But then again, what if one of them is me?

How about you walk a mile in my hypothetical Tramezza Leather Medallion-Toe Oxfords? I don’t think you want the government to take away your ability to own five houses or a Ferrari Segway, do you? Especially when I’m potentially days away from a billion dollar idea or winning the lottery even though I don’t buy tickets.

Do you want to have to pay taxes to support people who are as poor as me at this moment? Well, I certainly don’t. You can say I’m voting against my own interests but I’m only interested in the vast wealth I plan to accumulate through… whatever, I dunno how yet but it’s on my vision board so, yeah.

Related: Opinion: Bernie Sanders Can Still Win This


I may never use the acreage on the moon I will most certainly buy but I’ll be damned if the government tries to take away my money so I can’t afford it. And I know I don’t need a crystal iPhone dock or a Faberge Egg collection, but if the poor want to expense eggs then they should try to be more like me.

So call me a bootlicker if you must, because someday the boots I’ll be licking will be my very own Tramezza Leather Medallion-Toe Oxfords. You’re probably wondering why I wouldn’t hire my own personal bootlicker, but that would be a ridiculously frivolous and I don’t want to be greedy or anything.