Press "Enter" to skip to content

Omegle Shutdown Leaves Users Scrambling To Find New Way To See Random Naked Old Guys

BRATTLEBORO, Vt. — Fans of random video chat site Omegle were shocked to find their favorite method of meeting new online friends and seeing random nude men was shutting down, according to heartbroken sources.

“This is a sad day in the history of the internet,” said Omegle founder Leif K-Brooks as he piled items from his desk into a cardboard box. “For fourteen years, we’ve created a space for users to meet and chat with others from around the world, connecting people from all different cultures. Did we have a little issue with men exposing themselves over and over again? Yes—but I like to think Omegle was doing a service to society by getting those people out of parks and public libraries and confining them to sitting in front of their computers in dimly lit rooms. Studies show that Omegle’s popularity resulted in a 28% decrease in public masturbation. That has to count for something.”

Regular Omegle users are suddenly faced with the difficult task of finding a site that can replicate the Omegle experience.

“I’m just gutted,” said self-proclaimed Omegle addict Rebecca Stinson as she sat before a blank laptop screen. “I’ve met so many cool, normal people over the years on this site. I’m still in touch with a lot of them. And the random dicks? I always looked at using Omegle like watching a horror movie or going through a haunted house attraction. At any moment some terrifying monstrosity might jump out at you, but really, you know you’re safe. I guess I got a little hooked on the thrill and horror of it all. Now where am I going to get that experience? I don’t want to have to go back to taking public transit.”

Historian Ian Floyd said that even though Omegle is no more, the problem of men being disgusting and predatory online will persist.

“Chat Roulette invented the random online chat platform in 2010, and Omegle soon followed suit. While these sites made things easier for perverts, depraved men have felt the compulsion to expose themselves to unsuspecting strangers since the dawn of history,” said Floyd. “We have examples of men sending drawings of their genitals to random postal addresses as far back as the 16th century. In the 1840s, sickos advanced to mailing out daguerreotypes of their ding dongs. I expect we’ll soon see another service fill the space that Omegle leaves.”

At press time, reports of old-fashioned trenchcoat-wearing flashers exposing themselves were flooding 911 operators across the country.